Big Brother Betting Odds: Mohamed & Sylvia Up, Stuart To Win?

It’s been all go in the Big Brother house lately. OK, not all go. Partly go. Barely go. Look, Big Brother’s on. Isn’t that enough?

What’s been happening in the world of Big Brother so far? Well, new boy Stuart continues to make waves by looking a bit like a vinyl sex doll and getting Sylvia all sad because he doesn’t want to jam his tongue into her gob quite as much as she wants to with him.

Speaking of tongues - Mario and Lisa, stop it now. Just stop it. Watching you play Spin The Bottle recently was like watching a hungry dog gnaw the face off its dead owner. It’s horrible. Stop it.

Anyway, Mohamed and Sylvia are up for Big Brother eviction this week, but we’ll get to that in due time. Meanwhile, here are the Big Brother betting odds for Mohamed, Dale, Rex, Stuart and Rebecca, with help from Paddy Power…

Mohamed - First time we clapped eyes on Mohamed we assumed that he’d be the personality-strapped everyman who ends up in the final because nobody likes or dislikes him enough to remember him come nominations day, but how wrong we were.

Turns out that Mohamed is a cross-dressing wildcat responsible for one of Big Brother’s most controversial moments so far - when he wore something slightly feminine and Alex went batshit at him for it. Yeah, Mohamed’s a live one and no mistake. He’s one you either love, hate or, in this case, neither like or dislike enough to have an actual opinion either way. Current Big Brother betting odds - 33/1

Dale - Oh Dale, you’re so dreamy, what with your Disney eyes and just-lazy-enough beard and your hopelessly misogynistic attitudes to women. Why can’t all men be like you? Dale, you’ll remember from Big Brother day one, wants to ‘nail’ all the ‘fanny’ in the Big Brother house. However, confronted with the disgusting truth that the Big Brother fanny this year is either obese, worryingly masculine, shell-shocked from a civil war or attached to genuinely awful people, Dale has since decided to focus on Jennifer, the tenth-grade Cheryl Cole lookalike single mother. Trouble is, Jennifer’s an idiot and it looks like she’ll be evicted from Big Brother way before Dale. In fact, we should all gang up and evict all the women from Big Brother first this year, just to see the inevitable sight of Dale sitting by the pool masturbating and crying. Deal? Current Big Brother betting odds - 22/1

Rex - An an executive chef - whatever that means, making pies out of spreadsheets or something we think - Rex needs to be decisive and charismatic and authoritative. Or it means that he can be neither so long as daddy owns the restaurant. Which he does. That’s why Rex has made such a startlingly dull impression in the Big Brother house so far. This far into Big Brother, all we really know about Rex is that a) he’s named after any number of fictional dogs, b) he has a stupid monotone voice, and c) he’s ginger. What a monotone ginger dog-named tit. Current Big Brother betting odds - 18/1

Stuart - As Alex’s Big Brother replacement, Stuart needed to be the exact opposite of the removed housemate, and he more or less is. Where Alex was female, Stuart is male. Where Alex was a bit funny-looking, Stuart used to be a model. Where Alex was ferociously outspoken, Stuart looks as if he’s never had a single original thought in his entire life other than ‘mmmm, being me is so delicious‘. First impressions seem to be that Stuart is basically Dale with slightly longer eyelashes, and he’s already succeeded in turning the Big Brother females all moony. Maybe there’s more to Stuart than what’s on the surface, but we don’t want to break the surface in case we get squirted in the eye with liquid smug. Current Big Brother betting odds - 20/1

Rebecca - Big Brother lore dictates that every year there must be one fat girl from a small town who everyone can laugh at because they’re fat and think London is sexy and exotic instead of depressing and full of arseholes, and this year it’s Rebecca. However, there’s so much more to Rebecca than that. She screams! She’s abnormally fast to take her clothes off! She’s, um, fairly interesting when it comes to karaoke! She’s been in Big Brother jail! She’s… no, actually that’s about it. There is literally nothing to Rebecca other than those things. Will she win Big Brother? Do you care? Current Big Brother betting odds - 16/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Rachel, Darnell, Luke, Mikey and Kathreya. But if that’s too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.