The Big Brother house will be a much quieter place now that Spiral and Michael have been evicted. And by 'quieter' we mean 'two preening socially-incompetent dickwads lighter.'

Spiral and Michael were evicted from the Big Brother house on Friday, to a surprising amount of cheers considering that one of them was an annoying, self-consciously wacky student who actually thought that he was God and the other one was a creepy humourless tit who has temper tantrums if women don't agree to have sex with him. But, now that there's only eight Big Brother housemates left, who'll go on to win Big Brother?

It's just as well we've got these Big Brother betting odds here for you, isn't it? Here's the first part of this week's Big Brother betting odds to win, for Susie, Imogen and Mikey, with betting odds from PaddyPower.com…

Susie - So it's official: as well as being the least popular Big Brother housemate, Susie is by far the stupidest housemate in the Big Brother house. Honest, a proper test proved it and everything. And that sort of explains all of Susie's recent Big Brother behaviour – stashing food in her bed like insects or the stupider mammals do, constantly cleaning the Big Brother kitchen because rubber gloves won't ask her any difficult questions like "what's bigger, a goose or the moon?" and – if you still needed to be convinced of Susie's stupidity – being friends with Richard. Susie won't win Big Brother, but that isn't to say we wouldn't like Susie to star in her own Big Brother spin-off show called Susie Fucks Up Simple Tasks. Current Big Brother betting odds – 125/1

Imogen - OK, so it was a bit of a surprise to find out that Imogen wasn't the stupidest Big Brother housemate, since all of her behaviour indicates a complete lack of any kind of mental ability whatsoever. Perhaps Imogen's obsession with gazing into mirrors all the time isn't – as we'd previously thought – down to vanity. Perhaps mirrors just confuse Imogen, and she thinks they're magical. And maybe Imogen wasn't crying while reading Aisleyne's letter in the Big Brother prison task because of the overwhelming emotion – maybe it was because the rows and rows of complicated letters scared her. The big idiot. Current Big Brother betting odds – 66/1

Mikey – Mikey's Big Brother form has slipped a bit in the last few days. A few weeks ago, Mikey was one of the favourites to win Big Brother – but now he's in the bottom group. Why is this? Here's a theory – perhaps it's because Mikey is a man so ferociously dull that his mouth can't even properly communicate whatever vague thoughts pass through his soft insipid mind. Or perhaps because he's so startlingly simple-minded that he can happily amuse himself by thinking up pranks so piss poor that he makes Jeremy Beadle looks like a criminal mastermind. Just a thought, like. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Tomorrow – more Big Brother betting odds! But until then, don't forget to check out the latest Big Brother betting odds, from any number of these brilliant betting websites. Good luck!

Hecklerspray recommends: 

Free £10 bet at PaddyPower

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[story by Stuart Heritage]