Big Brother Betting Odds: Someone Please Kick The Annoying Kat!

“The lines are closed. The votes have been verified. And I can now reveal that the first person to be evicted from the Big Brother house is… Stephanie!”

And with that went my chance of making any money out of Paddy Power this week!

I had my lolly on creepy Mario and his plastic wife Lisa. Surely that was a banker of a bet? But no - the voting public thought otherwise and ousted pretty young thing Steph, the only one to really stand up to the gruesome twosome and their childish bullying.

Apart from those two sad acts, she was probably the only one who expected her name to be called by Davina, too. The faces of the others told that story quite clearly.

But hey… who will remember Steph now? It’s a cruel game this BB one and the blonde 19-year-old looker will be forgotten just like all those other first-week failures.

It’s a shame, I know. It was fun while it lasted Steph. But them’s the breaks. Honestly, it wasn’t you, it was me.

I just want us to be friends. And that’s the last time I will see you… until we meet in an Essex nightclub, you picking up your £200 appearance D-lister appearance fee for two songs and a snog with Adrian from Crawley on his birthday!

So it’s time to move on and take a look at the odds for the outright winner again.

Cookie-mad Thai Teletubby Kat is 2/1 to beat the rest of the field - but how long will we be able to put up with that screechy voice and those missing Rs?

Kat’s sweet, yes, but only in the same way a stick of rock is sweet. Eat too much and it leaves you rotten, rotten to the core.

No, I can’t see her still being everybody’s cup of tea (with eight sugars) this time next month, let alone in week 13.

So who’s next? Well, it’s chirpy northern Luke (3/1), who I read this week is a wrestling announcer! It’s a strange, old world sometimes. I would have had him down for a white coat and hairnet in an Eccles cake factory in Halifax, but there’s nowt queer as folk, as they say oop north.

Then comes the rest of the field - and at this stage, it might be fun to stick your hand in your pocket and play that field a little.

There’s Blind Mikey (9/2), Albino Darnell (10/1), Straight-and-Narrow Rachel (12/1), Masterchef Rex (14/1), Dishy Dale (16/1), Top-heavy Becky (25/1), Flirty single mum Jen (28\1), Everyone’s mate Mohamed (33/1), Gay dancer Dennis (66/1) and Sultry Sylvia. But this bunch are surely going to be around for another week at least.

That’s because this week it will be between this threesome (and what a horrible thought that is!): undercover shaggers Mario (100/1) and Lisa (80/1) - and the vile (but entertaining) Alex (200/1).

One of these three will go this week to shake it up a bit more - and, of course, there’s always the possibility of NEW HOUSEMATES! Not that I know anything, mind! Honest

Paddy Power will be offering odds on the next eviction just as soon as the nominations are announced.

Story by Richard Hughes