Oh, who are we kidding? Eviction schmischmiction – Jen and Dale are totally going to do it!

The first Big Brother romance of the year has just kicked off – we don’t count Mario and Lisa as a romance because they make us want to crap our eyes out with disgust – and it’s so, well, romantic. Forget that Jen is married and lives with her husband and baby and that Dale apparently has a girlfriend – they’re going to do it! Oh, the enchanting mutual infidelity! We’re suckers for it every time!

Anyway, there’s a Big Brother eviction happening tomorrow, and Mohamed and Sylvia are up. So here are the Big Brother betting odds for Mohamed’s eviction, with help from Paddy Power…

Mohamed – Did we miss something? Mohamed’s up for Big Brother eviction this week? Why? What’s he done? And we don’t mean what’s he done to deserve being nominated by his fellow Big Brother housemates, we mean what has Mohamed done? Apart from eat, obviously. Mohamed clearly likes to eat. Big Brother is only three weeks old and already he’s swelling up like a frog in a vacuum pump. But that’s no reason to evict him, surely – if anything we should keep him in and wait to find out when his jeans start ripping. Let’s keep him in the Big Brother house until he has to be evicted by crane – at this rate it’ll only be another couple of weeks or so. Anyway, we shouldn’t worry too much about Mohamed being evicted from Big Brother tomorrow – he’s up against Sylvia, and she’s so hated at the moment that Mohamed could stab a pensioner to death with a kitten and he’d still be safe. Current Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Tomorrow: Sylvia’s Big Brother eviction odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.