It's been a bad week for a bunch of the Big Brother housemates so far. Is it because Mikey, Imogen, Nikki and Lisa have been shortlisted for Big Brother eviction?
No, it's because Nikki – fuelled by her manic misunderstanding of how Big Brother works – has been having a week-long shrieking breakdown, yelling about backstabbing and sucking arseholes and whatnot until everyone in the country decided to reconsider their poorly thought-out 'Nikki is good comedy value' theories. And, staggeringly enough, Nikki isn't even the favourite to be evicted from Big Brother tomorrow.
So here are the Big Brother betting odds for the eviction of Mikey, Imogen, Nikki and Lisa, with betting odds coming from PaddyPower.com…
Mikey – Up until recently, we were under the impression that Mikey was keeping himself to himself in the Big Brother house because of an elaborate plan to stay off people's radars and improve his chances of winning Big Brother. But it's become perfectly obvious that Mikey has been staying quiet because he's the most incomprehensibly dull housemate in Big Brother history; even out of the shadow of Grace, all Mikey can normally muster is a quiet stream of random vowels now and again. Plus, we've noticed that when Mikey smiles he looks like a special needs kid who's stuffed his face with too many marshmallows. But this week, the Big Brother audience will be gunning for one of the others up for eviction. Probably. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1
Imogen - Imogen is equally out of the shadow of Grace, and her freedom has manifested itself by her getting ready to jump Mikey's bones. And nothing else. Because – as pretty as she is – Imogen is duller that a job in a rainwater-grading factory. What has Imogen actually done, apart from drawling "fuck ett, youknowarramean?" in a way so vapid that we can't do it justice with words? Nothing at all, that's what. Imogen is probably the Big Brother housemate who'll be missed least, but she isn't the Big Brother housemate that most people want out, either. Current Big Brother betting odds – 12/1
Nikki – OK, we've made it as clear as we've been able to that we find Nikki unquestionably objectionable. She's either the most spoilt, vain, attention-seeking moron we've ever watched on TV (and we watched that show about Jordan getting married), or she's actually having a nervous breakdown. And she wants you to vote her out of Big Brother – she actually screamed it at the Diary Room camera over and over again. So it's the least you can do, right? Actually, scrap that. Let's let Nikki survive another Big Brother eviction, then see her get nominated again three days later. All the screaming and thrashing she'd do would leave her all hoarse and dislocated, so she'd be both silent and immobile. And that's the way we like our wimmin. Current Big Brother betting odds – 9/1
Lisa - It looks like this will be Lisa's last week on Big Brother, and not a moment too soon. Lisa's lack of cigarettes have turned her into Queen Of The Moodswings, and the further into the week she gets, the more we'll see her stomping around the Big Brother garden like a tiny Manc ogre swearing 15 times a second. As well as her smoking and swearing compulsions, Lisa also cast the final vote against Nikki in the mental Big Brother nominations earlier in the week and – worst of all – got angry with Aisleyne and threw a bike around. A tiny bike. The woman must go, y'hear? Preferably before her next bout of dementoid PMT, which we're expecting sometime in the next 10 days. Current Big Brother betting odds – 1/16
Tomorrow – more Big Brother betting odds! But until then, don't forget to check out the latest Big Brother betting odds, from any number of these brilliant betting websites. Good luck!
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[story by Stuart Heritage]
