This Big Brother swimming task is going well, isn't it? All the fun of watching people swim the English Channel with none of the fun that comes with hoping that a giant squid will come out of nowhere and smash them all into goo.

All in all, the Big Brother swimming task is the televisual equivalent of a really long car journey – starts off fun, then gets dull, then you despair that it's not even halfway done yet, then you start complaining that you need the toilet, then you throw up onto your lap. Exactly like that. But don't let the most boring task in Big Brother history put you off placing a Big Brother bet – now you know which of the housemates are slightly less crap than the other housemates, you've got a much better chance of seeing a return on your bet. And, after all, don't you think you deserve a financial reward for watching Big Brother day after day? You could even put the winnings towards the brain surgery you'll need after the show finishes.

This week's Big Brother betting odds have been announced, with Carole, Seany and Jonathan facing the chop. You'll need to wait for tomorrow for those Big Brother betting odds, though, because we've got a more important question to ask today. 

Who's going to win Big Brother? Time for our final slice of Big Brother betting odds to win for the week – for Brian, Gerry, Chanelle, Tracey and Liam – with help from Paddy Power…

Brian – Brian seems to be the most interesting of the new Big Brother housemates because, although he's a fackin' laddy bloody geezah innit, he's also into Cosmic Ordering – the weird cultish belief system practised by Noel Edmonds from Deal Or No Deal. We're not entirely sure what Brian has been ordering from the Cosmos – at first sight we'd imagine that it involved the most hopelessly put together wardrobe in recent Big Brother memory and the chronic misapprehension that he looks like 50 Cent. Brian has done zip all of worth since entering the Big Brother house. Maybe this'll change once he's taken time to find his bearings. Or maybe it won't and Brian will continue to bore the living arse off anyone who gets within 25 feet of him. Current Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Gerry – When Gerry entered the Big Brother house, his gayness was so overwhelming that all the girls in the Big Brother house couldn't wait for him to become their new gay friend, advising them on what to wear and making hilariously catty remarks like all gay men are obliged to do by law. However, on Monday night Gerry used his gay cattiness for evil instead of good, when he mocked Chanelle's inability to swim very well. Chanelle, being as clever as most tubs of butter, decided that Gerry was calling her a big fat whale and had the mother of all meltdowns. What does any of this mean? It means that we like Gerry a little bit more now, that's what. Current Big Brother betting odds – 7/1

Chanelle – Why oh why oh why oh why oh why is Chanelle such a popular Big Brother housemate? We've looked at Chanelle's Big Brother hopes from just about every possible angle and we can't see a single likeable thing there. She models herself on an arsehole, shacked up with Ziggy so fast that she couldn't even see that he was six times older than her and a bit of a smug twat, is useless at every single Big Brother task she's ordered to do, complains all the time, wants to be a WAG when she grows up and has a bewilderingly large opinion of herself. And yet she isn't one of the favourites to be evicted from the Big Brother house. We can only assume that this is down to pity about her mum being a murdered prostitute, but if you started ranking someone's popularity by how gruesomely their mother died then Casshan: Robot Hunter would be Prime Minister or something. Current Big Brother betting odds – 6/1

Tracey – That individual rave that Big Brother held for Tracey a while back really calmed her down. Probably a bit too much, to be honest. Tracey has now become a sort of everyman figure in the Big Brother house – possibly because she looks like every man we've ever met. You can always see Tracey at the edge of conversations looking in with a wryly entertained face, being the face of the audience. That's OK, but what does Tracey actually do? Not a whole lot. We can't let Tracey win Big Brother just because she's a bit weird and easygoing – that happened with Pete last year, and the memory of Nuff Buzzin' is still too painful to allow that again. Let Tracey win, but only if she, you know, does something. Current Big Brother betting odds – 6/1

Liam – Liam is by far the most popular of the new Big Brother housemates but, then again, a baby murderer would probably be the most popular new Big Brother housemate compared to the middle-aged pervert, the hair monster and the charisma vacuum that also entered the Big Brother house on the same night. But why is Liam so popular? Perhaps it's because he's a blokey bloke – a straight talking Geordie that manages to stay just on the right side of dull. The boys like Liam and the girls love Liam. Actually that last bit's probably not true – the boys don't seem to give a shit about Liam and the girls would molest a goose if it had stubble and a penis. Can Liam last at the top spot? We'll have to wait and see. Current Big Brother betting odds – 11/2

Tomorrow – Big Brother betting odds for Friday's eviction. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds… and get a free £10 bet as well!