Big Brother Betting Odds: Jonathan Out, Chanelle & Laura Up, Brian To Win

This week on Big Brother, Jonathan was so backwards and forwards about whether to leave the house or not that it was all we could do not to tunnel into the Big Brother house and lob him out over the fence by his ears.

And now Jonathan has left the Big Brother house of his own accord. Surprisingly, the mitigating factor in Jonathan's Big Brother departure wasn't how brilliant Jonathan thought he was, but the death of his grandmother. While that's clearly a good reason to leave the Big Brother house, we must never forget the most important thing about Jonathan - that he was a narcissistic middle-aged borderline pervert with a pierced ear and perfectly triangular eyebrows. It's how Jonathan would have wanted you to remember him. 

This week Laura and Chanelle are up for Big Brother eviction, but we'll get to that tomorrow. In the meantime, here are the Big Brother betting odds to win - for Chanelle, Gerry, Amanda, Brian and Liam, with help from Paddy Power…

Chanelle - Laura had better watch out - Big Brother has only been on for a month and already Chanelle is feeling the Big Brother bloat so alarmingly that she's going to make Laura look like Kate Moss in a matter of days. There was a time when Chanelle prided herself on being a lovely Victoria Beckham lookalike, but as the days and weeks pass and Chanelle expands and expands, she's genuinely started to look more like Pete Doherty. If you thought that Shabnam's Big Brother eviction was spectacular, wait for Chanelle's - rendered breathless by the stairs to the Big Brother exit, Chanelle will spend 15 minutes trying to squeeze through the sliding doors before finally staggering out, at which point the stress on her skin will become unbearable and she'll literally explode, splattering a wave of gore over Davina McCall's terrified face. Current Big Brother betting odds - 9/1

Gerry - Gerry's Big Brother fortunes have taken a bit of a bashing this week, possibly due to all the nominations he received last week. The rest of the Big Brother housemates don't seem to like Gerry because he talks about "art and museums" all the time instead of, say, singing painfully awful songs about introducing himself or wetting the bed. But Gerry's Big Brother betting odds are still suggesting that he at least has a punt at winning Big Brother. Would that be a good thing? We're not sure - while it'd be a rarity to have someone who can spell their own name winning Big Brother, we're not sure if we could handle the aftershock - imagine if Gerry gets as famous as other Big Brother winners - he'd be hosting The Mint in no time. And who wants a 3am quiz show to contain questions about art and museums instead of the usual 'what colour is an orange?' fare? Not bloody us, that's for certain. Current Big Brother betting odds - 7/1

Amanda - She's Mandy, loves pink, she's girly don't you think. Alright, so that's the only thing we know about Amanda, other than that she's a twin and she's currently doing her best to trick all the Big Brother housemates into thinking that she's got some sort of psychic bond with her sister when really she's just going through a series of well-rehearsed motions. Actually we're lying - Amanda has sort of become a sort of Big Brother vixen. Since all the other female Big Brother housemates are either old, fat, taken, annoying or have eyes slightly too far apart to be normal, all the Big Brother boys seem to be circling Amanda for all they're worth. Obviously Amanda will never get with any of them - we'd imagine that she thinks kissing is yucky and boys are smelly - but at least it's ensured that Amanda is a more popular Big Brother housemate than her sister, which should nicely set up a lifetime of jealous arguing if nothing else. Current Big Brother betting odds - 5/1

Brian - OK, it's cards on the table time. We want Brian to win Big Brother. In a Big Brother house starved of any actual personalities, Brian is a breath of fresh air. The man is a genius - he doesn't think that girls can poo, he knows that there's no electricity in Wales, he thinks that Romeo And Juliet is a film about the So Solid Crew - and isn't as good as Babe: Pig In The City - he gets erections and then shows them to the people who gave him the erection in the first place and, best of all, he wets himself. We're starting to think that Brian is actually slightly mentally ill, and that he's been put on Big Brother for nothing more than for cheap exploitation. But, hey, so was Pete last year and look what happened to him. Plus, if Brian wins Big Brother he'll never release a terrible single like Pete did - although that might be because if he went into a recording studio he'd mistake the microphone for a giant insect and club it to death with his fists. Please, everyone reading this must do all they can to make sure that Brian wins Big Brother. Current Big Brother betting odds - 7/2

Liam - And then there's Liam, who doesn't wet himself, and so is therefore not as good at being on Big Brother as someone like Brian. We're dying to find out what it is that Liam actually does that constantly makes him the favourite to win Big Brother week after week. He's handsome enough, we suppose, but surely Liam has to go down in history as the only tree surgeon around who is less interesting than the trees he operates on. Liam must not win Big Brother - he's dangerously close to becoming the next Anthony Hutton, the most pointless of all Big Brother winners. Besides, if we wanted to see well-meaning dullards on TV then we'd watch Big Brother's Little Brother more. Current Big Brother betting odds - 11/4 

Tomorrow - Big Brother betting odds for Friday's eviction. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds… and get a free £10 bet as well!