What a day of surprises Big Brother had lined up for us on Friday – first Jennifer was evicted and then three brand new housemates entered the house.

We didn’t see either of those two coming – we wouldn’t have predicted Jennifer’s eviction despite her gigantic unpopularity, and even though the arrival of the three new housemates had been widely reported for ages all over the place, we just didn’t expect that either. What major surprise is next? Will Mario say something that’s kind of dickish? Who knows?

We’ll be discussing the new Big Brother housemates over the course of this week’s betting odds, so we’d better get going – here are the Big Brother betting odds for Rebecca, Lisa, Maysoon, Mohamed and Stuart, with help from Paddy Power…

Rebecca – Rebecca apparently considers herself to be an ‘exhibitionist’, which is a polite way of saying that she gets her tits out and shrieks a lot. But over the last week in the Big Brother house, Rebecca has tipped over from ‘exhibitionist’ to ‘flat-out shitbag’. She’s smashed stuff, she’s chopped up people’s clothes and she’s screamed abuse at anyone who’s happened to stumble into her line of sight – all in the slightly moronic belief that it’s entertaining. And it’s clearly worked, which is why Big Brother housemates and viewers alike are desperate to evict Rebecca at the first possible opportunity. Her inevitable eviction will be bittersweet, though – true, we won’t have to listen to her deafening squawking for an hour every day, but she’ll almost definitely have her norks out in Nuts within a fortnight. Yeesh. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Lisa – Why are Lisa’s Big Brother betting odds always so terrible? We honestly can’t understand it – more than anyone, Lisa is like the Big Brother mother figure this year, and nobody seems to dislike her. And yet for some reason she doesn’t stand a hope in hell of winning Big Brother. Why is this? Is it because we as a society are systematically rejecting matriarchs as a sort of subconscious response to the current economic climate? Or is it because she’s got giant hands and actually shaves her own face? Yeah, it’s probably that. Current Big Brother betting odds – 66/1

Maysoon – Disappointed. We were promised that one of the new Big Brother girls would be the star of a famous advert. We were absolutely certain that she’d be the little dead kid from the ‘If you hit me at 40mph’ road safety adverts, but no. Instead we got Maysoon, an exhausted-looking girl who’s apparently been in a Lynx advert. We don’t think we’ve seen that particular advert because we’re sure if we’d seen Maysoon we’d have sat bolt upright and declared “Goodness! What’s an unusually tired-looking girl like that doing in a commercial for schoolboy deodorant?” Anyway, everyone hates Maysoon because, in her Big Brother intro tape, she only talked about how pretty she was, which is a) not very clever and b) not very true. Current Big Brother betting odds – 50/1

Mohamed – When Big Brother housemates survive evictions, it tends to affect their self-confidence. Bolstered by the knowledge that people actually like them, they develop a kind of cocky bulletproof swagger. Not Mohamed though. Since he was saved from Big Brother eviction a week and a bit ago, Mohamed has slowly retreated into his shell, to the point where he literally hasn’t done a single thing of any worth for a day or two now. He might have his eye on new Australian Angelina Jolie Big Brother housemate, so it’ll be fun watching him get spectacularly shot to pieces, but other than that it looks as though Mohamed is settling in for a long stint at the head-down factory. Which should be fun. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Stuart – Forget threatening to kill fellow Big Brother housemates or spitting in their faces, if there’s one thing that Big Brother should remove housemates for it should be quoting John Lennon songs in a hamfisted effort to get into a girl’s knickers. It’s been scientifically proven that anyone who didn’t growl “Oh fuck off you bright orange dickwipe” when Stuart sighed “All you need is love: John Lennon” to Jennifer last week no longer qualifies as human. Stuart is clearly a prize bellend and he deserves some sort of superficial temporary mutilation for that alone, but we’re willing to forgive him if he starts to exclusively express himself via the medium of John Lennon song titles. And we might even vote for him if he manages to interrupt a conversation with an oversincere, pseudo-profound “Woman is the nigger of the world: John Lennon.” Current Big Brother betting odds – 33/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Dale, Sara, Belinda, Mario and Rachel. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.