If you’ve missed Big Brother lately, you’ll find that the house is quite a different place at the moment.

Why? Because Sylvia, the Sierra Leone civil war refugee who obviously wanted to hump everything that moved, was evicted from Big Brother on Friday night.

And since the eviction came hours after Dennis, the obnoxious Scottish gay one, was removed from the house for spitting in Mohamed’s face, the atmosphere between the Big Brother campers is as poisonous as it’s ever been. But, lord, emotional trauma is so entertaining.

So who’ll win Big Brother? Here are our Big Brother betting odds to win for Lisa, Jennifer, Stuart and Dale, with help from Paddy Power…

Lisa – Interesting that, of all the honking self-interested shitbags in the Big Brother house this year, it’s Lisa who’s been deemed least likely to win. Why’s that? Our only guess is that it’s because whenever there’s an argument anywhere in the house, you know it’s a matter of time before Lisa ploughs into the middle of it. Which wouldn’t be so bad, except that Lisa’s voice is so simultaneously booming and shrill that dentists could use it to remotely dislodge tartar. Plus, as we’ve said before, we’re pretty sure the sight of Lisa kissing Mario with tongues more or less instantly sterilised us. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Jennifer – Meanwhile, Jennifer might have just become our least favourite Big Brother housemate of the year. To be fair, she was getting there already because of the way that a) when she talks she looks exactly like a grass-chewing cow and b) she’s clearly a bit of a slag, but after last Thursday’s argument that led to Dennis’ removal from the Big Brother house, she’s front and centre. It’s not so much because she cried when Rex smudged her rubbish drawing; more because she cried for about three hours about it and started saying things like “You wouldn’t be allowed to do that in an art gallery.” Which is true, you wouldn’t be allowed to do that in an art gallery, but that’s because art galleries are full of art and not creatively invalid, woefully-deformed doodles of what appear to be a pile of logs with nipples and a face. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Stuart – For a week we thought there was nothing to Stuart other than a six pack and a hopelessly mis-informed make-up job. But how wrong we were – it turns out that there’s actually a six pack, a hopelessly misinformed make-up job and quite a nasty temper, as demonstrated during Thursday night’s Big Brother argument. It’s one thing to get aggressive, but quite another to get aggressive because a boy accidentally touched a girl’s drawing and ever so slightly smudged it. That little outburst has seen Stuart labelled as a bully, and his Big Brother betting odds have taken a tumble as a result. Current Big Brother betting odds – 33/1

Dale – Of course, compared to Dale, Stuart looks like Archbishop Desmond Tutu. That’s because, while Stuart lost his temper during Thursday’s argument, Dale had the kind of gibbering violent meltdown we’ve only really seen monkeys  do during the first scene of 28 Days Later. He looked like he was going to attack Rex. Then he looked like he was going to attack Mohamed. Then he almost attacked Mohamed again the following day – if this keeps up then Dale will be removed from the Big Brother house long before he gets the chance to be evicted. Still, though..  thick as shit, emotionally unstable, constantly on the verge of lashing out and hurting somebody – at least Dale’s going to make a model PE teacher. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Rex, Mario, Rebecca and Mohamed. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.