Well, that’s it. That’s summer done. Big Brother 9 started last night, which means we’ve got three months of idiots screaming about nothing to put up with.

And, lord, are there ever a lot of Big Brother housemates this year – 16 on opening night alone. This year Big Brother has gone for a Zero Tolerance theme, so there are prisons and different standards of bedrooms and people have to pay to use hair straighteners and whatnot. But that can unfold in the days to come. What about this year’s batch of gibbering plebs?

Well, here are the first-night Big Brother betting odds for all six million new housemates to win, with help from Paddy Power…