Now, we know we can be down on Big Brother a lot of the time, but we'd like to extend the Big Brother producers our biggest thanks for making sure that neither David or Shanessa stayed in the Big Brother house for more than a week.

Because, honestly, what a pair of arsehammers David and Shanessa were. Between them, all David and Shanessa really contributed to the Big Brother house was a sort of constant low-level complaining and a saggy pair of slightly misshapen breasts. And, thanks to Gerry already being a Big Brother housemate, both those two assets were completely superfluous in any case. So goodbye David and Shanessa, you were cast out of the Big Brother house from us before we even got to know you. We think we'll survive.

But, hey, now those two awful tossers have been voted off Big Brother, who's going to win? Here's part one of this week's Big Brother betting odds to win – for Amy, Kara-Louise, Tracey and Carole – with betting odds provided as ever by Paddy Power…

Amy – Without wanting to generalise about people we hardly know, that Amy's a right old effing slag, isn't she? Although Amy's slagginess was slightly overshadowed by Shanessa's slagginess – face it, even Jodie Marsh would look like a nun compared to a woman whose traditional greeting is "Do you like girls who swallow?" – but in a Big Brother house stripped of any real slagginess whatsoever, Amy's slaggy tendencies have been noted. Five minutes into the Big Brother house and Amy was flirting with Ziggy and snogging Liam and, we suspect, rubbing her vagina on the corner of the Big Brother diary room chair at the very sound of a male voice. Anyway, let's not get to know Amy too much – nobody likes her and she'll be out as soon as possible. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Kara-Louise – Meanwhile Kara-Louise hasn't been showing any signs of Big Brother slagginess at all, maybe because all her free time has been spent blinking and dumbly grinning like the world's poshest mole. And, anyway, we're not sure that flirting would do Kara-Louise all that much good – what with the voice, the inexplicably-coloured hair and her tendency to greet every slight alteration in circumstance with either hysterical laughter or the sort of emotional breakdown more usually found in grieving mothers, we get the impression that Kara-Louise won't be getting all that much male attention in the Big Brother house. But whether Kara-Louise is nominated by the Big Brother housemates is another question entirely. Like us, they probably have trouble even remembering that she's there. Current Big Brother betting odds – 50/1

Tracey – Uh-oh. Tracey has now survived more Big Brother evictions than anyone else this series and, to make matters worse, on Friday her name was greeted with delirious cheering from the Big Brother eviction mob. As we've said before, this means that – somewhere in Tracey's brain – Tracey thinks she's in with a genuine pop at winning Big Brother. What Tracey doesn't realise, obviously, is that people were only cheering her because she was facing Big Brother nomination against a posh dimwit, a piggy slag and Glasgow's entry for the 2007 Obese Pagan Busted Lookalike pageant. Don't forget, though, that these Big Brother betting odds say Tracey is easily the least popular original Big Brother housemate and that she's about as likely to win Big Brother as she is to get through a sentence without adding the '-age' to random words like some kind of dreadful wanker. Current Big Brother betting odds – 50/1

Carole – Hard to know what to think about Carole at the moment. By and large the Big Brother housemates seem to like her – they're always quick to point her out when asked which other Big Brother housemates they like – and yet she's still the second-least popular Big Brother housemates as far as these Big Brother betting odds go. So which is she? Well, while we'd like to see Carole get evicted from the Big Brother house soon, just to see all the other housemates trying to figure out how the kitchen works like the monkeys around the monolith in 2001, we're quite happy for Carole to stay in the Big Brother house, so long as she promises to keep bursting into tears whenever anyone says they like her. As everyone knows, watching comparatively elderly ladies cry is solid gold entertainment. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Tomorrow – Big Brother betting odds to win for Ziggy, Gerry and Sam. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds… and get a free £10 bet as well!