We didn't think it was possible, but Big Brother's Fake Week just got even fakier – now Brian's been told that the fake Australian Big Brother housemate Pauline is an actress called Thaila, but he has to keep it secret from everyone else.

While that might seem a little like asking Jade Goody to look after a pile of crucifixes without setting them of fire and shouting "White Power!" at the top of her voice, it's actually a masterstroke – mainly because we want Brian to win Big Brother and anything that makes him hog more airtime is alright by us. Anyway, this week the Big Brother housemates up for eviction are Charley and Nicky, but it's not a proper Big Brother eviction, because the evictee will be evicted from the Big Brother house and then slung back in again. Confusing, yes, but we'll deal with that in greater detail tomorrow.

For now, though, here's the final part of this week's Big Brother betting odds to win – for Gerry, Amanda, Brian and Liam – with help from Paddy Power…

Gerry – Gerry is always banging on about how clever he is all the time, isn't he? He's always lurking around the Big Brother house for conversations for him to barge into and interject by drawling "aksherley…" in that bizarre accent of his before churning out a two-hour-long lecture about nothing that's full of long words to remind everyone that he is the cleverest man alive. But Gerry obviously isn't that clever because, well, because look at his sodding hair. Over the weekend Gerry let Nicky cut his hair, only for Nicky to prove that she's even less safe with a sharp object than Lorena Bobbitt. Now Gerry has to live with the awful patchy, semi-shaved monster on top of his head, and hopefully it'll be enough for him to not win Big Brother any more. Next week we're going to sneak up on Stephen Hawking and give him a shit haircut too, the bloody big-head. Current Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Amanda – Amanda is the Big Brother twin that people actually seem to like. We don't know why because, as we've said, trying to tell the Big Brother twins apart is like trying to pick your favourite testicle before realising that one testicle has eyes that are a little too far apart. But Amanda – the testicle with the normally-spaced eyes – is probably creeping ahead in the Big Brother betting odds because of her ongoing flirtation with Liam. It's rather sweet to watch – Amanda let Liam dye her hair the other day and they both got up to some vaguely erotic horseplay in the Big Brother pool – but it's let down only by the fact that Liam would flirt with a mound of rhino poo if you strapped a pair of fake tits to the front of it. Current Big Brother betting odds – 7/2

Brian – The 'Brian To Win Big Brother' campaign continues apace, for the following reasons: 1) Brian thinks that 'hippopotamus' begins with the letter N. 2) Brian can actually hypnotise people just by counting to ten. 3) When Brian is drunk he likes to get naked and run around. 4) Brian wet himself in a caravan. 5) If Brian wins Big Brother, the first thing he'll do is go to Lakeside. 6) Brian, actually, seems like the nicest man in the whole world – like a sort of Jade Goody with all of the racism and arseholery filtered out. And if Brian doesn't win Big Brother we're going to wet ourselves in a caravan. Your caravan. You've been warned. Current Big Brother betting odds – 3/1

Liam – So you'd better line your caravans with plastic sheets because, as things stand right now, Liam is going to win Big Brother. Great – another dull northerner winning Big Brother. Admittedly, Liam is a handsome lad who doesn't seem to be phased by anything that's thrown at him, but that's about it. You could go out on a Saturday night in any town in the country and meet a million Liams, but if that was a criteria to gain votes then the Prime Minister would probably be a randy geezer in a baseball cap who introduces himself to girls by groping their arses. Our point here is vague, but it's probably 'don't let Liam win Big Brother' or something. Current Big Brother betting odds – 5/2

Tomorrow – Big Brother betting odds for Nicky's eviction, probably. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds… and get a free £10 bet as well!