Time for another look at Big Brother – the show that not even hoax bombers can stop, more’s the pity.

But aside from amateurish attempts to blow everyone up, what’s been going on in the Big Brother house lately? Not a lot, to be honest. There’s been a lot of talk of energy and spiritualism and out of body experiences, which has made Big Brother seem a lot like one of those crappy hippy shops that sells crystals and beads and rubbishy African frogs carved from driftwood. In short, it’s terrible. And now they’ve put an Australian in, which is hardly bloody helping things, is it?

But who’s going to win Big Brother? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Dale, Sara, Belinda, Mario and Rachel, with help from Paddy Power…

Dale – Poor old Dale. He may have initially wanted to ‘nail’ all the ‘fanny’ in the Big Brother house at the start of the series, but now he’s proved himself to be a big soppy puppydog. Jennifer, the married single mother love of his life, is no longer in the Big Brother house, and all Dale can do is mope about forlornly all the time. Or can he? The arrival of the three new Big Brother girls obviously threw Dale into a spiral of internal confusion, as his primitive fanny-nailing id wrestled with his lovey-dovey Jen-worshiping superego so hard that we thought for a moment that Dale was about to have a stroke. It’ll be interesting to see at which point Dale cracks and leaps on one of the new girls – chances are it’ll be hours rather than days. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Sara – Sara is the Big Brother contestant who looks like Angelina Jolie. A bit. If you squint. In the dark. And so far that seems to be her sole personality trait. Honestly, if it wasn’t for her vague resemblance to a famous actress, then Sara would be more vapour cloud than person. Up until now, Sarah’s most interesting story has been about her middle name, which she’s embarrassed about because it’s so horrible. It’s Lorraine, by the way. Which isn’t especially horrible. Fingers crossed that Sara does something interesting soon, because if we’re being forced to listen to her horrific voice bleat on incessantly about nothing at all for no reason then we’re going to lose our temper quicksmart. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Belinda – Rounding out the three new Big Brother housemates is Belinda, who differs from the other two because she’s not especially pretty and she has a personality. Oh boy, does she have a personality. Basically a walking pair of jazz hands, Belinda’s vocabulary consists of nothing but the lyrics to every piece of musical theatre of the last 100 years and her own name repeated very quickly several times in a row. She’ll either turn out to be wonderfully endearing or a supreme irritant, but in her entrance piece it was revealed that Belinda once spent two years in a wheelchair. That makes her the John Locke of Big Brother, doesn’t it? Maybe that means she’ll end up throwing a knife into Mario‘s back one night. We can but hope. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Mario – Mario’s inexplicable rise to the top of the Big Brother betting odds continues apace, and we’re terrified. It just defies all logic – even if the Mario appreciation is ironic, which we suspect it is, Mario doesn’t possess anything like the self-awareness needed to understand that. He even brags about his fan club, which we suspect is comprised of two old ladies who started it out of pity because they saw Mario’s face and assumed that Sylvester Stallone‘s face had been attacked by a swarm of jellyfish. Anyway, it’s been business as usual for Mario lately – he’s whined about more or less everyone in the house, spoken condescendingly to more or less everyone in the house and somehow managed to improve his Big Brother betting odds. You people are weird. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Rachel – Rachel’s had us on the edge of our seats this week – we’ve been anticipating the moment when she’ll finally do something that’s even slightly interesting. She’s still keeping us waiting, the big tease. It’s been a month now – any longer and we’ll have to start assuming that Rachel is just a hopelessly dull human being. Actually, that’s a lie – Rachel does have a handy purpose in the house. She’s the subject of more bafflingly spiteful bitching than anyone else. Although she’s essentially a good-natured girl trying to promote a harmonious atmosphere, Mario, Lisa, Luke and Rebecca just can’t stop giving her verbal thrashings behind her back every day. One day we hope that Rachel manages to show us why she’s so disliked. Or anything. Anything at all would be nice. Current Big Brother betting odds – 20/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Mikey, Rex, Luke, Darnell and Kat. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.