Big Brother Betting Odds 2007: Bloke In Tonight?

You know, this is probably our favourite part of Big Brother - the part where you don't know anyone's name, even though you're perfectly aware they'll be nationwide hate figures in less than a fortnight's time.

As the all-female Big Brother housemates nosedive into their first weekend spent together in the Big Brother house, there's still one important thing missing - a man. Tonight, we're told, the twelfth Big Brother housemate will enter the house, and he'll be a male. That poor boy. Although being a man going into a house with 11 women might seem like a treat on the surface, we estimate that it'll take about three seconds of listening to the relentless full-volume pack shrieking about make-up and diets and curtains before the poor boy tries to rip the skin from his face in an effort to make the bad noise go away.

Here are the Big Brother betting odds to win for the housemates we couldn't be arsed to get round to yesterday - Shabnam, Emily, Laura, Nicky and Carole - with help as ever from Paddy Power…

Shabnam - There's a lesson to be learnt here - never trust anyone whose name begins with 'Shab'. Last year there was Shabaz, the tiresome Scot who was so crazed that he left Big Brother about three seconds. And now there's Shabnam, who epitomises the sort of "I'm mad, me" zaniness that most people want to slap senseless. Shabnam lists her interests as dancing badly and reading books on the toilet - not on a chair like you probably do, you square! Shabnam ran into the Big Brother house screaming "cheer me!" like the world's biggest attention spaz. Eventually we fully except Shabnam to be deliberately drowned. Current Big Brother betting odds - 18/1

Emily - On her Big Brother entry tape, Emily said "I know the value of money," which people only really say because their daddy told them once that a pony costs £50,000. Emily is Big Brother's token out-of-touch bohemian posho drama student who'd just love to shack up with a dirty-looking Pete Doherty clone because Daddy would simply splutter wildly into his port when he found out. Emily's friends tell her she reminds them of Peaches Geldof. Emily hasn't worked out that this isn't actually a compliment yet. Current Big Brother betting odds - 14/1

Laura - Big Brother isn't Big Brother unless there's a Welsh simpleton in the house who'll learn more about themselves than anyone else and inevitably end up coming second. With that in mind we give you Laura, a slightly chubby nanny who doesn't drink, hates smoking and looks a bit like Peter Kay. Laura's unpretentious cheeriness immediately won the Big Brother crowd over, and we're guessing that people will vote for her a lot because of her down to earth normality. That is unless Laura has a giant nervous breakdown in a week's time because everyone else is thinner and prettier than she is. Current Big Brother betting odds - 8/1

Nicky - Nicky is without a doubt the most inevitable Big Brother housemate ever. After all the fuss with Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother this year, the show's producers were always going to plonk the exact opposite kind of Indian into the house this time round. Nicky smokes, drinks, looks permanently miserable and hates all men because they'll never be as reliable as her old friend the booze. Or something. Plus Nicky was adopted from Mother Teresa's orphanage, so the experience of spending part of her life in a tiny house with a bunch of screaming brats is bound to do her well. Current Big Brother betting odds - 14/1

Carole - Before Big Brother started, tabloid newspapers were frothing that there was going to be a bisexual woman in the house. Turns out that the bisexual is Carole, a 53-year-old argumentative divorced unemployed sexual health worker who's been repeatedly arrested for protesting about stuff. Half Mo Slater from EastEnders and half Mark Thomas, Carole seems to exist only to remind Big Brother that even older people can be self-consciously wacky bastards with a lack of basic social skills, too. Needless to say, the Big Brother crowd loves her. Current Big Brother betting odds - 6/1

Next week - a whole other bunch of Big Brother betting odds. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.