Beyonce rocked the shit out of the Superbowl Half-Time Show last night. Her amazing?performance included not just?flashy effects, not just fire, but also lots of?riotous T&A (mostly A … unless you want T to stand for Thighs, in which case there was a significant amount of both).
Overall, Beyonce was?mesmerizing, as always?… but the whole thing, the entire carefully produced?performance,?was?totally ruined by that pathetic, half-assed?Destiny?s Child mini-reunion.
Poor Kelly Rowlands and Michelle Williams. About half-way through Beyonce?s performance, they?made their?surprise entrances, bursting up from under the stage?and blending in completely with the back-up dancers.
They?sang a bit of Bootylicious (with their mics turned waaaay down)?followed by some other song … the whole time looking shell-shocked and scrawny next to the ethereal Mrs. Carter. Beyonce even graciously invited?Kelly and Michelle?to participate in her solo mega-hit ?Single Ladies? before she dismissed them. And they skittered away, in their knee socks and high heels?… presumably back under the stage.
Imagine those two stuck down there, all cold and lonely, waiting for their traitorous third Musketeer to summon them. No matter what they say, they definitely hate her.
At any rat, Beyonce?did?manage to kick the collective ass of all recent Superbowl performances. Madonna was pretty entertaining in her campy way last year … and Prince is obviously still the overall winner … but Beyonce did herself proud. Her live vocals were impressive to say the least, particularly given the amount of writhing, stomping, and hair-tossing?she managed to pack in … and there were some cool kaleidescopic holograms that undoubtedly had at least half of the U.S. population adjusting their pants. Her performance even included an inspirational quote read by the disembodied voice of the great Vince Lombardi AND a fire-breathing guitar!?Truly, what performance is complete without at least one of those two?
To be quite honest, all of Beyonce’s songs (other than Single Ladies) blur together in my head. I’m not a fan of her music, nor of Destiny?s Child?… though I could watch Beyonce?s videos all day. (And her husband might be the coolest man of earth.)?Regardless, she does put on an incredibly entertaining show … with considerable conceit, but backed up with more than considerable talent.