Beyonce’s New Perfume Advert Will Definitely Make You Think Impure Thoughts

If you have even the vaguest trace of a pulse, then there’s a strong chance you fancy Beyonce Knowles. Even if you’re a massive racist, you probably still would. Well, if you think she’s looked hot in the past, brace yourself to become full-on aroused.

Her advert for her new perfume, called ‘Heat’, is sexually charged to the point where you may convince yourself that your computer is about to cum.

As such, the commercial for her personal perfume has been hammered by the folks at the Advertising Standards Authority. But not, you’ll be glad to learn, barred by us who are more than happy to show it to you.

The commercial in question (shown below) is so smokin’ hot that they have deemed that it should not be shown on television before 7.30pm.

The ASA declared that:

“Beyoncé’s body movements and the camera’s prolonged focus on shots of her dress slipping away to partially expose her breasts created a sexually provocative ad that was unsuitable to be seen by young children.”

Christ! That quote sounds like the prose from a mucky book your mum might read on holiday! Anyway, you don’t want to read these sexless words do you? You want to see Beyonce partially exposing her breasts and singing the sexiest version of ‘Fever’, ever.

You’ve already skipped to the video aren’t you? We could say anything we liked here.

Oh well.

Get the tissues ready.

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Comments

  1. Cookie Monster says

    Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I have been lead to believe that young children rather enjoy breasts, though, in a slightly different way than older folks. Going on that premiss, young children (hold-up, all young children, or just young boys and wee lesbians?) are obviously the target demographic. Surely, Beyonce Inc must be beside themselve with consternation over these Asprin, erm, ASA folks for not only forcing them away from the target audience, but also dragging Beyonce Inc’s good name through the mud on news outlets, in print, at the watercooler. Oh, whoe is Beyonce Inc!

  2. MsElle says

    I don’t think it’s that bad…it depends on what type of mind or imagination u got…
    otherwise its everything we see on TV these days…
    It’s an amazing add…the music, her voice, her body movements…
    they make it sound like a porno but it aint!
    It’s today’s entertainment…

  3. Arthur ASCii says

    Religious types run around saying “Oh my god! We have to legislate the titties!! We have to cover up the titties!! What if a CHILD saw those titties??” Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t your God… make titties FOR children?

    — Doug Stanhope