Last night, the Grammys did something very stupid: they had Beyoncé and Jay-Z do the opening number. Why was this a stupid move, you ask? Because for the rest of the night no one gave a shit about anything else that happened because everyone (celebs included) were still reeling from Beyoncé’s ass! Oh, and her amazing performance.
Jay-Z and Beyoncé fucking own the Grammys last night and once again reminded me why I will never be able to write a negative thing about these two, as they are fucking perfect. And given the fact half the world got on Instagram and Twitter to lose their minds about the performance, I have a feeling I’m not alone with my Beyoncé/Jay-Z love.
When I was a kid, the Grammys were my favorite because there was always so many unique and wonderful musical performances. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized the awards themselves didn’t mean shit. I mean, Jimmy Hendrix, Bob Marley, Biggie, Tupac, none of these guys ever won Grammys, but you know who does have a Grammy? The Baha Men. The Baha Men won a Grammy for “Who Let the Dogs Out?” I’m not even fucking kidding you. BUT ANYWAY!
Aside from how meaningless the award itself is, last nights Grammys had a ton of cool performances, with top bitch (as usual) being Beyoncé.
Beyoncé comes out grinding and twerking in an almost thong showing the world that we all need to bow down to her perfect ass. Beyonce is probably the only person on the planet who could pull that off and still look classy. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m sure as hell not complaining! And it wasn’t just me who thought she owned that shit. Celebs like Jaime King and Khloe Kardashian took to Instagram to praise Queen Bey. Other celebs took to Twitter:
Lena Dunham: HOLY S–T BEYONCE you aren’t even a woman anymore you are the world and you are the lord…When Beyonce giggles un-selfconsiously in front of the whole music industry it’s pretty clear she’s surpassed the earthly plane
Ronan Farrow: I see no good reason why I’m not married to Jay Z and Beyonce.
Kelly Clarkson: It’s so weird but me and my husband look just like Beyoncé & Jay Z when we’re dancing and grinding. Timberlake was right #mirrors #crazyhot
Neil Patrick Harris: Beyoncé is sexxxy! @Davidburtka said, ‘She could turn a gay man straight!’ Now I’m worried…
Anne Vyalitsyna: Aghhh Beyonce and Jay Z, I just dyed and went to heaven @TheGRAMMYs
Gabrielle Union: Just watched it again… there is only ONE Queen B… #Beyonce #ImDrunkInLove
Christine Teigen: YONCE IM GONNA PEE. I can’t. I can’t. I die. I going to cry
While presenting Jay with the award for Best Rap Collaboration, Jamie Foxx apologized for staring at Beyoncé. Oh right, Jay-Z won a Grammy, because they fucking owned the night. First he kisses her, then goes up and thanks God for her, and finishes up with the adorable: “”And to Blue: Look! Daddy got a gold sippy cup for you!” I guess even Jay-Z knows Grammys aren’t much more than glorified children’s toys.
Beyoncé and Jay-Z are probably my favorite couple ever and I’d probably kill myself if they ever broke up. Last night was 100% their night (Lorde’s performance was cool, but didn’t touch B and J), and, in the word’s of Jamie Foxx: “Blue Ivy’s mom is HOOOOTTTT!”