Beyonce Wants To Be Wonder Woman Something Rotten
This is getting confusing – first Beyonce told us that she was Sasha Fierce, and now she might be Wonder Woman as well.
Beyonce, that is. Not Sasha Fierce. Unless Sasha Fierce wants to be Wonder Woman instead of Beyonce. But at the moment we just think that it’s Beyonce who wants to be Wonder Woman, and Sasha Fierce hasn’t got anything to do with it. Except that Sasha Fierce is Beyonce, so technically they both want to be Wonder Woman. Clear?
Good. Beyonce wants to be Wonder Woman in a new movie. Which sort of makes sense. She’s got the thighs for it, we suppose.
Several years ago, we ran a post about a potential Wonder Woman movie that never got made, and it seemed to inspire just about every hormonal teenage boy on Earth to suggest whoever their most recent brunette wank fantasy was to play her. We heard about everyone from Carmen Electra to Kate Beckinsale to Shania Twain, but nobody mentioned Beyonce.
And, in retrospect, that may have been slightly foolish. Because Beyonce has decided that she wants to play Wonder Woman in a movie, and we get the feeling that she’s going to start kicking stuff over unless it happens. The LA Times quotes:
“I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?”
Of course it’s time for that. After all, we hear that Barack Obama only decided to historically campaign to become the first black president of America so that the one out of Destiny’s Child with the wobbly arse could have a slightly better chance of playing a campy second-rate superhero whose main weapon is a tatty piece of rope. It’s completely time for that.
But just because Beyonce wants to be Wonder Woman, does it mean she’s right for the part? Personally we’re worried. Although she already possesses the superpower of epileptic hysteria, Beyonce’s a woman who likes to inhabit her roles – to lose weight for Dreamgirls she famously went on a syrup-only diet, and for her upcoming movie about Etta James she gorged herself on food and put on 6kg – so God knows what sort of ridiculous diet she’ll need to go on to play a mystical Amazon who flies around in an invisible plane.
But that’s just a quibble. The main reason why we don’t want Beyonce to play Wonder Woman is the same reason why we’re dubious about any Beyonce performance – there’s a very strong chance that Jay-Z will pop up two-thirds of the way through the movie and mumble about fur coats for about 20 minutes.
I don’t understand. Wonder Woman was white.
Great, another DUM A$$$ hung up on the THOROUGHLY DISCREDITED concept of RACE…THE RACE OF HIS FAVORITE NERD CARTOON NO LESS!!!!!
I never mentioned ‘race’. She’s simply a different color. They won’t use a short-haired, dumpy male actor for Wonder Woman – no matter how well he acts – because of the lack of resemblance. Same principle.
This just in: Julian Mentat = humorless twat with a slavish devotion to comic books
[...] that we got a black president in the White House, what we need is . . . a black Wonder Woman? Beyoncé, err, Sasha Fierce, wants to star in a new “Wonder Woman” remake. And I want to [...]
Beyonce has far too big a butt, far too thick of thighs and even knees too! She probably has fat ankles too! Her body is NOT ONE to be in a Wonder Woman outfit! Did you SEE her on SNL!
“Did you SEE her on SNL!”
NO! AND NEITHER DID ANYONE ELSE! YOU ARE STUPID!
I like Beyoncé, I really do. But WTH?
they need an unknown actress that fits the bill exactly. no we don’t need a blk wonder woman……. we need wonder woman the way we have seen her since day 1. the wonder woman we all know and love! this movie is for the fans!! not for some superficial singer who wants to break “barriers” so to speak. So Beyonce.. Hell No! Angelina Jolie- no. not meaty enough. Megan Fox- not tall enough or muscular enough. Megan Gale- also not muscular enough & Sorry, the accent won’t work.. also I hate to say it but sorry her boobs aren’t big enough. (sorry but lets be way real. WW is a animated goddess. and she is what she is) Catherine Zeta-Jones – too old, but still beautiful, but not fit for WW. Jessica Biel- better than the rest however not exotic enough.
Face it. There is some unknown aspiring actress out there looking for her big break & was made for this role! now they just have to find her!!!!
will beyonce is black in white