Beyonce To Release New B’Day Album On Her Birthday

Beyonce B'Day AlbumAs far as marketing strategies go, it's a bit of a rubbish one. September 4 is the 25th birthday of wobbly-arsed warbler Beyonce. And it's also the release date for Beyonce's second album.

What's the title of Beyonce's second album? B'Day. Do you see? Because September 4 is Beyonce's birthday. Birthday. B'Day. Clever, huh? And Beyonce's name begins with a B. So B'Day means 'birthday' and 'Beyonce day'. This is all getting a bit too clever for us. If only someone would also buy Beyonce a type of sink for washing her genitalia and anus in as a gift for her birthday, then we'd have the holy trinity of a Beyonce B'Day, a birthday B'Day and a bidet B'Day.

Since Destiny's Child split up last year, everything has been a bit quiet on the Beyonce front. That's not to say that she hasn't done anything – she just hasn't done anything good. Beyonce's last album with Destiny's Child was a bit of a disappointment, and her film career took a bit of a knock with the dreadful, much-delayed Pink Panther remake. Sure, Beyonce and Destiny's Child got awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, but any credibility gained from that was destroyed when Winnie The Pooh was given one straight afterwards. 

But now things are starting to look better for Beyonce – her new film Dreamgirls is being touted as a possible Oscar contender, and she's also got her new album B'Day to look forward to. Despite the tenuous 'birthday/B'Day' marketing strategy – and the fact that she's inexplicably decided to name the album after a piece of bathroom equipment that Frenchmen wash their arses in – Beyonce has been teaming up with all kinds of big names for B'Day.

Beyonce co-wrote, produced and arranged all the songs on B'Day – the follow-up to 2003's four million-selling Dangerously In Love – with help coming from Rich Harrison, the Neptunes, Swizz Beatz and Rodney Jerkins. Beyonce's first single, Deja Vu, is another Beyonce/Jay-Z duet and – if it's anything like Dangerously In Love – then Deja Vu will be the only good song on B'Day, with the rest of the song being rubbish sloppy ballads that nobody ever listens to more than once.

Read more:

Beyonce to celebrate B'Day in September – Billboard

[story by Stuart Heritage] 


  1. Brandy says

    I hate Beyonce and her lumbering cow vagina thrust. She has the grace of a drunk orangutan with a sack of potatos stapped to it’s ass.