Beyonce Is Being Sued By Foolish Mortals Who Should Know Better

beyonceHave you ever been so annoyed you missed out on a Beyonce concert that you sued her, her concert promoter, and the stadium it was held in?

Two women are suing Queen Bey and everyone she’s ever come into contact with after a fan stampede outside her Chicago concert left them needing a hospital visit. That’s a bad day in anyone’s books, but it also meant that they missed their chance to breathe in the same air as Beyonce, and now the women are out for blood. Or its cash value, anyway.


Raquel Castellanos and Gabriella Davidson said they arrived mega early to the United Center last December so they had the best chance of basking in Bey’s majestic glow. Smart move.

Beyonce OK

Unfortunately for them, an intense love for Yonce can’t protect against thousands of other equally crazed fans, so when the gates finally opened, ?the duo were caught in the middle of a stampede. They were reportedly left unconscious and with broken bones, and according to their lawsuit, this is all Beyonce’s fault.

Beyonce shaking finger

The two women are now suing Beyonce directly for failing to set up a proper procedure for entering the venue. Bey’s camp haven’t commented on the lawsuit yet, but I’m guessing their general standpoint will be that Beyonce Knowles has better things to do than wander around an empty stadium in ?a high-vis jacket setting up metal barriers. For example, finding out the perfect setting to put the fan on so that her hair does this:

beyonce wind in the hair

The United Center in Chicago and Live Nation Entertainment are also being sued, but in all fairness you could say that this is more their fault than Beyonce’s, so we won’t focus on that too much. They’ve also kept mum on the subject so far, so who knows if Raquel and Gabriella will be drying their tears on $100 bills. Speaking of cash, the amount they are suing for hasn’t been disclosed but I’m sure it will be enough to makeup for a broken ankle and a bump on the noggin. Good luck with that, ladies.

beyonce i cant with these basic bitches

One day, I’ll be able to restrain myself from adding sassy GIFs to any post that’s vaguely about Beyonce. Today is not that day.