Beyonce Gyrates, Something About Accents Comes Out

Singer, plus-size arse model and calamity pile-up of an actress Beyonce can successfully tell a British accent from an American one. Everyone in the world stand up and clap your hands right now; even all the crippled kids in wheelchairs, you insolent layabouts, get up and show some respect.

For most people Beyonce means a brassy bird who can contort her body like a salamander and scream like six-year old who wants more pudding. She is an international music act of some distinction, and that distinction is to pout, yell and judder.

Yet she does have some redeeming qualities, she’s damn smart when she wants to be, not just with those tricky accents but acuity too; she knows a thing or two about quality guys and where to find them.

Beyonce told the Daily Mirror:

“I think British men are cute and they got style. British guys are different - their accents, their haircuts.”

All the beer-belly lads in Yates’, don’t get too excited though. Beyonce is as churchy as Ned Flanders, so probably just stands around giggling or twiddling with the tassells on her hot pants when guys enter the room. Maybe a coy titter when they all pass out in unison, before a hop-skip back into the limousine for some chilled Cristal, while gangster rapper boyfriend Jay-Z has them all rounded up and promptly shot.

Beyonce may like British men but woe betide the fool who thinks that just because she enjoys gorging on syrup butties and not giving a toss that her arse may soon be big enough to plug the ozone layer that he’s in with a chance. She also likes fur coats too and there’s no chance of buying one of them with two weeks' giro and some Clubcard vouchers. Best just stick to wanking over her videos instead.

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