Beyonce, like everyone, learns a new lesson every day. And last night Beyonce learnt that if you don't show up at a little awards ceremony in a country you don't even live in, expect to get booed.
Last night, you see, was the night of the Mobo Awards – ostensibly a night to reward the finest black music talent in Britain, but really an excuse to throw loads of shiny things at Lemar – and the biggest Mobo winner was Beyonce. The only problem was that Beyonce didn't bother to show up at the Mobo awards, meaning that Beyonce was booed every time her name was mentioned. And now Britain is fighting back, with news that Lemar won't be going to any big American awards ceremonies either. Not because he wants revenge for the Beyonce Mobo shun, but because nobody has the slightest clue who he is.
The Mobo Awards – that's Mobo as in Music Of Black Origin – are a way for the UK to recognise the musical contribution of black artists in the British cultural landscape. They're also an excuse for portly white middle-aged out-of-touch music executives to try and act 'street' with the 'kids' while simultaneously clutching their wallets for fear that it'll be pickpocketed by said 'kids', and for smartarses everywhere to point out that the only types of popular music not to have any black origins are skiffle and druidic folk.
But most people don't care about that – for them, the Mobo Awards are just a chance to boo at Beyonce.
Beyonce is a busy girl these days. As well as helping Jay-Z out of retirement, Beyonce also has to deal with animal rights protesters interrupting her dinner, eating a diet that only consists of syrup, making everyone have crazy epileptic fits and naming her new album about the thing Frenchmen wash their bums in. If that were you, would you have time to make it to some crummy awards ceremony in a secondary territory? Beyonce didn't, and she paid the price.
Of course, the Mobo audience's ire was probably stoked further by the fact that Beyonce won more awards than anyone else last night, receiving the Best International Female, Best Song and Best Video awards. Well, not receiving them, obviously. And Mica Paris, who would have given Beyonce her Best International Female Mobo, doesn't seem too happy about Beyonce's no-show:
"Sometimes you do get tired of people who get awarded that don't turn up and Mobo need to look at that. Stop giving awards to people who don't turn up."
Other winners at the Mobo awards – who did attend the ceremony – included Corinne Bailey Rae, who won Best UK Female, Best Newcomer and Most Infuriating Use Of A Glottal Stop In The Word 'Little; Lemar, who won Best UK Male and Least Charismatic Award-Winner Ever and Ms Dynamite's brother Akala, who won Best Hip-Hop despite not a single person ever hearing any of his music.
Mobo fans shouldn't be disappointed by Beyonce's refusal to attend the ceremony – last night also saw the first inaugural hecklerspray awards, and Beyonce didn't come to that, either. Or Shakira. Or the French woman from the Renault Clio advert. Or Melissa Theuriau. Well, when we say 'awards' it was really just us in a dingy bedsit standing around naked, save for a transparent plastic raincoat. But a no-show is a no-show. Mobo Awards, we know how you feel.
Read more:
Beyonce Booed By Mobo Crowd – Channel 4
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Anally retentive says
This is terribly anal of me to point this out but skiffle comes from blues music, so technically only druidic folk is not of black origin.
Stuart Heritage says
Ah nuts, you’re right.
Still, this way the forthcoming ‘Hecklerspray Plays The Hits Of Lethal Bizzle On The Washboard And Kazoo’ album stands a chance of at least getting a Mobo nomination.
Well spotted…
Steve says
I can appreciate the no-show irritation (though I wonder if it is fueled to some degree by anti-American
sentiments), but this controversy reminds me of two others that are related to the awards show.
Does MOBO stand for Music of British Origin? If not, why so much whining about the courting of
Black American acts? If MOBBO awards is what people really want so badly (Black British Origin – or
even just British), make your own show maybe?
And the jazz thing. At least the criticism is valid, since jazz is indeed “of black origin.” But is Ms. King and Co.’s
decision to longer include it as a category, really worth of the time and energy that a formal protest requires? is
this a matter of state? Reprise: make your own show maybe?
I’m one of those silly people who believes that a person can do with their show – and name it – whatever
they want. Whole thing seems trivial at its surface, which leads me to suspect that there is something else, largely
unspoken and foundational, at its core.