History has proved that Beverly Hills 90210 is the probably the worst TV show of all time. That's scientific fact.
However, Beverly Hills 90210 shouldn't get used to holding that title, because a show that looks set to be even lamer has been announced – a modern-day Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off.
That's right – the CW network is resurrecting Beverly Hills 90210, Frankenstein-style. However, the Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off doesn't have a cast or a writer yet – it only exists as an idea in the mind of a particularly evil television executive who we're hoping is quite tall. That way he'll be more likely to knock his head on a low ceiling beam and give himself some sweet sweet amnesia.
Spin-offs are never a particularly wonderful idea, as anyone with memories of Joey, Saved By The Bell: The College Years or the short-lived Knight Rider spin-off about KITT hilariously trying to raise an adorably ramshackle gang of endearingly dysfunctional multiracial adoptees will attest.
But worse than regular spin-offs are spin-offs from woefully vacuous 1990s shows about obscenely well-off la-di-da youngsters bimbling around Los Angeles in chinos and pikey stonewash denim jackets. But, despite our near-biblical warnings, some moron has decided to make a Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off anyway, as Reuters reports:
The CW network is developing a contemporary spinoff of Aaron Spelling's seminal 1990s teen soap "Beverly Hills, 90210," sources said. Details on the project — including which if any of the characters on the original series will make the transition to the spinoff — remain sketchy. The spinoff, which is close to getting a writer, has been put on the fast track by the network. It is expected to decide whether to order a pilot by the end of the month.
By the end of the month? These people are actually going to wait a full 19 days to give into the screaming in their heads and stabbing pain in their stomachs that they encounter when they even think of making a Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off?
Look, CW, we know it looks tempting. After all, none of the original Beverly Hills 90210 stars are doing much these days apart from crashing their cars and stealing other people's husbands, and giving employment to waifs and strays like them might make you feel good for a minute or two. But look at Melrose Place – that was a Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off so bad that the star might have sort of but not really tried to kill herself this week.
Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? Oh, what the hell, go and make the bloody show anyway – it's not like other networks are paying attention to the dangers of making awful spin-offs. Not only do we have the Family Guy Cleveland spin-off to look forward to this year, but Fox is also developing a spin-off from Prison Break set in an all-female prison. And if it thinks we're going to fall for the old 'lesbian jailbird' ruse again, well, it's sorely mistaken. Right boys?
Boys? Oh, for God's sake, pull your trousers back up boys. You're just embarrassing yourselves.
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tam says
I remember recording the first episode of beverly hills 90210 when I was 10! I still have that old, dusty video – sometimes when I’m being nostalgic. . . just sometimes! I never became an avid viewer, it was no twin peaks, but I did love the clothes, then. Aluminous cycling shorts under denim hot-pants – gotta love dat.
euclid says
They should make it ‘reality’ based:
Adventures in Miss Spelling
mst3kster says
How far in are you talking, euclid?
Joanna says
i used to watch it as a 13 year old girl, i was in love with the series and have a big sentiment for it…i think the show was of course quite far from reality but the acting was good and the show itself was captivating…please can u tell me how is it worse than todays productions like i.e. gossip girl, that has recently been announced as the best series of all time????