However, Beverly Hills 90210 shouldn't get used to holding that title, because a show that looks set to be even lamer has been announced – a modern-day Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off.
That's right – the CW network is resurrecting Beverly Hills 90210, Frankenstein-style. However, the Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off doesn't have a cast or a writer yet – it only exists as an idea in the mind of a particularly evil television executive who we're hoping is quite tall. That way he'll be more likely to knock his head on a low ceiling beam and give himself some sweet sweet amnesia.
Spin-offs are never a particularly wonderful idea, as anyone with memories of Joey, Saved By The Bell: The College Years or the short-lived Knight Rider spin-off about KITT hilariously trying to raise an adorably ramshackle gang of endearingly dysfunctional multiracial adoptees will attest.
But worse than regular spin-offs are spin-offs from woefully vacuous 1990s shows about obscenely well-off la-di-da youngsters bimbling around Los Angeles in chinos and pikey stonewash denim jackets. But, despite our near-biblical warnings, some moron has decided to make a Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off anyway, as Reuters reports:
The CW network is developing a contemporary spinoff of Aaron Spelling's seminal 1990s teen soap "Beverly Hills, 90210," sources said. Details on the project — including which if any of the characters on the original series will make the transition to the spinoff — remain sketchy. The spinoff, which is close to getting a writer, has been put on the fast track by the network. It is expected to decide whether to order a pilot by the end of the month.
By the end of the month? These people are actually going to wait a full 19 days to give into the screaming in their heads and stabbing pain in their stomachs that they encounter when they even think of making a Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off?
Look, CW, we know it looks tempting. After all, none of the original Beverly Hills 90210 stars are doing much these days apart from crashing their cars and stealing other people's husbands, and giving employment to waifs and strays like them might make you feel good for a minute or two. But look at Melrose Place – that was a Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off so bad that the star might have sort of but not really tried to kill herself this week.
Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? Oh, what the hell, go and make the bloody show anyway – it's not like other networks are paying attention to the dangers of making awful spin-offs. Not only do we have the Family Guy Cleveland spin-off to look forward to this year, but Fox is also developing a spin-off from Prison Break set in an all-female prison. And if it thinks we're going to fall for the old 'lesbian jailbird' ruse again, well, it's sorely mistaken. Right boys?
Boys? Oh, for God's sake, pull your trousers back up boys. You're just embarrassing yourselves.