Before we even start talking about Beth Ditto, let us just point something out to everyone – there is no correct size to be if you’re a human being. Okay? People who make an issue out of their, or anyone else’s weight, is an unrelenting dick. Okay? Okay.
Unrelenting dick, Beth Ditto, continues to see herself as some kind of political activist for people who aren’t thin, hitting out at imagined critics who she assumes are sniggering under their breath at her, taunting her and calling her a big fat twat.
With the spotlight well and truly taken off her band, The Gossip, and now glued into place on stomach, Ditto has howled in anguish about people who assume thin women are automatically healthier.
Most people listen to music and basically decide whether they like it or not. People love Mama Cass’ voice without worrying about her weight or deadness. Same goes for Elvis and Demis Roussos… although, with the latter, only mental people like his music.
And so, our pop stars assume that they need to be more than just performing monkeys, available to dance around for us when we stick a coin in the jukebox. Because they don’t have proper jobs, they hole themselves up, imagining what invented detractors might be saying about them, allowing their own fears to come seeping out of their mouth-holes.
Bono feels guilty for being rich, so parps on about charity. Kanye feels bad that he’s so astonishingly vain, and tweets endlessly about Taylor Swift. And so, Beth Ditto rattles around her house filled with celery and stamps her feet at the imagined accusations of those calling her a whale.
What’s this about celery?
Indeed. Ditto has revealed that she eats healthily, despite being overweight, and that she finds constantly defending her lifestyle ‘tiring’.
Speaking to Fearne Cotton on Radio 1 (which must have been even more tiring), she explained:
“I’m not an unhealthy person and I feel like one of the most tiring parts of being fat and being proud of it is you do a lot of proving yourself all the time.”
“It’s really interesting to me that people will look at a thin person and go, ‘That’s a healthy person’. I want to go, ‘Come open my refrigerator and look and then let’s talk about what you think is so bad’.”
See? Is there honestly a human on Earth who would go up to one of their friends and point at a thin person to discuss how healthy they are? In our experience, womenfolk are more prone to slagging someone off for their dress-sense or for having a partner that is deemed too attractive for them.
“To be thin and to stay really thin, some people literally do coke all the time. Some people smoke cigarettes instead of eating. That’s crazy. But that’s ‘okay’ because you look healthier.”
Some thin people do coke to stay thin and some fat people eat nothing but shite to stay fat… blah blah blah… yadda yadda yadda.
Do us a favour Beth? Stick to making records. If someone asks you about your weight, punch them in the mouth – especially if it happens to be Fearne Cotton. She’ll still call you ‘legendary’ either way.