You know how you’re always wishing that there were more beverages named after perspiration from objectionable areas of the body?
Well, wish no more! Paramount Pictures is introducing a new, cherry-licious drink called Booty Sweat. The drink comes from the upcoming Ben Stiller fiasco, Tropic Thunder, and is being marketed in conjunction with the film.
And for the calorie-conscious, like ourselves who strive to keep our girlish figure for our lovely readers, we’re anxiously hoping for Diet Booty Sweat. Same great taste, new fruit flavor, but lower in Back Sauce!
A new trend is emerging in Hollywood. It's called: invent a product with a funny name, put it in a movie, and then market said product along with the movie so people will buy the product because of the silly name and watch the movie, too.
Okay, that might not be the official name of the trend, but Paramount Pictures believe this product will long outlive the movie on the shelves of Hot Topic stores, and probably at midnight revivals of Shaft throughout the world.
And since the shelf life of an opened can of carbonated beverage is at least an hour or so, it will probably outlive the movie by an easy 45 minutes.
The drink will have two versions with different labels for urban and rural marketing. The urban label is as follows:
“delicious and bump up struttin' energy drink that will pump up a brotha's ass right-pronto. This swill will crank yo' metabolism up skippin' right over jiggy to straight G-pimp level, word to your mutha. Brothas will be layin' down the 2-3 on the wiggy jig focusing the energy flow into cold-face benjamins that will fill yo' pimp pockets to burstin'. Damn straight! Booty Sweat will keep a brotha pitchin' straight game all night to the baby-dolls."
The rural can is described as follows:
“Rural stores will get a can that simply has the Booty Sweat moniker, but no street slang.”
Oooh, thrillling rural packaging!
Anyway, look for the appearance of products from movies being placed in stores more frequently in the future. Or don’t look.
We don’t care, but if you do look you’ll see stuff like Sex Panther cologne, as seen in the movie Anchorman, in stores this September.
That’s right. It will no longer be illegal in nine countries. You’ll just wish it were.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
He looks ridiculous!
you look ridiculous
My only question regarding Sex Panther – won’t the vaporizer spray get clogged up from the bits of real panther?
Even with the clogging issue, Whorehey. studies show that 60% of the time it works everytime.
*sees hyde post* *sprays self with sex panther* *falls into 40%*
There must be some mistake, gir. Perhaps the imitation Sex Panther, Make-out Kitty, was used.
gir – you are almost as obsessed with Hyde as I am with [text deleted for legal reasons]
Gotta get me some booty first, then I sweat!
it’s alpa chino’s booty sweat. drink booty sweat yall and have a bar of bust-a-nut