One more nail has been added to the coffin of the Superman sequel’s credibility, and it looks remarkably similar to Ben Affleck.
In what’s being called “…the worst thing to happen to the franchise since George Clooney’s bat nipples”, Ben Affleck has been confirmed to take on the role of the hero Gotham deserves for Man Of Steel II. Bet you didn’t think you’d be reading the phrase ‘bat nipples’ this early in the day.
He’ll be taking over the role of Bruce Wayne from Christian Bale, playing opposite Henry Cavill in the as yet unnamed Superman sequel that will be bashfully shuffling into theatres in 2015 and trying not to look anybody in the eye.
As far as making high-budget movies goes, there are only two golden rules. Don’t cross the franchises – Freddy Vs Jason, Alien Vs Predator, and Megashark Vs Crocosaurus should be proof enough that it doesn’t work well. Actually, scratch that last one, it was a classic.
The second golden rule is that you should never cast Ben Affleck in anything that vaguely resembles a main role, especially if it’s a beloved superhero. The proof of that comes from Daredevil, and the ten separate Golden Raspberry nominations he’s earned over the span of his career.
Zack Snyder, the director in charge of this already sinking ship couldn’t be happier with the casting choice:
“Ben provides an interesting counter-balance to Henry’s Superman. He has the acting chops to create a layered portrayal of a man who is older and wiser than Clark Kent and bears the scars of a seasoned crime fighter, but retain the charm that the world sees in billionaire Bruce Wayne. I can’t wait to work with him.”
Spoken like a man that has never watched Gigli. No other plot details have been leaked yet, so we have no idea if Batman and Superman are teaming up or fighting it out.
But let’s be real, the only way they can save the film now is to write it so that Ben Affleck is some middle aged, Comic Book Guy-esque nutter who’s obsessed with Batman and makes his own costume from a black wetsuit. He then follows Superman around trying to be his sidekick, à la Syndrome from the Incredibles. You’re welcome, Snyder.