Let's get one thing straight – movie stars are idiots. All of them. Apart from memorising two or three lines of text at a time and then repeating them back with their faces mashed into what they hope is a vague approximation of emotion, what do movie stars actually do?

Nothing. Because they're idiots. But you read hecklerspray, so that automatically makes you not an idiot. So then, if you were to be in a film, you'd be the only non-idiot movie star in the world. How cool is that? More specifically, how cool is it that we're letting you have a go at being in a proper film. It's all down to Be The Movie Star. Be The Movie Star is the new website of director Steve Nesbit, and he's going to use Be The Movie Star to find the male and female leads of his new thriller movie. In theory, you're all smart and beautiful enough to do this (except you – you are stupid and ugly). So what are you waiting for? Upload your audition pieces to Be The Movie Star and wait for the public to vote you as potential movie stars in the waiting. And if you're fortunate enough to win Be The Movie Star, let us know. Because that will technically make us your agents and we'll aggressively pursue our 12%.

Be The Movie Star