Ahh, the BBC. Known across the world for single handily setting the standard for television and radio output.

Throughout the corporation’s long and established history, a selection of programming has been available to cater for every taste. For the petty criminal, the opportunity to see your handy work appear on Crimewatch was an accolade to suggest you were up there with the Kray twins in terms of hardness. And for the freeloader, the chance to have Changing Rooms decorate your house for nowt could save a few quid on decorating bills.

In the last few years, however, some diabolical cynics have said the BBC has been dumbing down. How dare they. However, if reports are to be believed, programming chiefs at the BBC may want their heads smashed together. You see, they may be commissioning a UK version of a Japanese TV show we looked at last year – Hole In The Wall, otherwise known as Human Tetris.

Everyone knows Tetris. It’s the 23-year-old Nintendo game that the BBC wants to turn in to a hip new primetime TV show.

As mentioned, we stumbled across Human Tetris last year. To call it weird is an understatement. Basically, gigantic planks with elaborate holes cut into them move towards the contestant, who has to bend his body into a similar shape to fit through it. Contestants have to be contortionists to really stand any chance of winning a prize – which is probably a ten percent discount voucher at the local chippy. It is Japanese to be fair, so we’d expect nothing else.

According to Digital Spy:

“BBC One has ordered a pilot of the show from distributor Fremantle and may take it on for Saturday primetime.”

Saturday night primetime? Is this really what things have come to? On the other hand, we’d rather watch cat mutilation than what currently passes for Saturday night primetime BBC - Andrew Lloyd-Webber gurning like a creepy git at some women – so maybe this Human Tetris thing isn’t such a bad idea.

The only question we have is who’d present the thing? Nobody with any credibility would want to touch it, surely. But some people will do anything for fame. So we put forward the beast otherwise known as Kinga from Big Brother to present it. You know, the fat lass who wanked herself off with a wine bottle in the garden? Our mate Mick said if you put your head near her black hole and shout, you’ll hear it echo for at least seven seconds. It’s that big. People have got lost in there.

If this is true and Human Tetris becomes a BBC TV show, we expect ITV to go one better. They’ll take members of the public to a secret military base, inject them with liquids and give them Street Fighter-style fireball powers. Now that would be worth watching. Better them Amir Kahn any day!

Read more:

BBC One May Make ‘Human Tetris’ Series – Digital Spy