When Chris Moyles opens his mouth, Britain listens. Unless he's singing a U2 song, that is. In that case, Britain judges him to be better than Paul Daniels and worse than that awful tiny desperate-looking woman from Eastenders.

Anyway, what was our point? That's right – people listen to what Chris Moyles has to say. But not for much longer, if Radio 1 bosses have their way – they're threatening to pull Chris Moyles off the air unless he stops swearing like a sailor with a stubbed toe, especially when he keeps referring to women as "dirty whores."

Quite why anyone would want to wake up to the sound of Chris Moyles parping and hooting like an obese tuba about how much he hates all women and how he wishes Shed Seven were still at the top of the hit parade is beyond us. But the truth is, they do – and people love it. Ratings for the Chris Moyles Radio 1 breakfast show have improved incredibly since he took on the job. Obviously this is because although Chris Moyles is offensive, he's coherent – and that's more than can be said for Sara Cox.

Maybe the success of Chris Moyles on Radio 1 has gone to his head. There was recently the case of Halle Berry calling Chris Moyles "racist" after he decided to tell her:

 …put your hands in the air. I'm a black American guy."

And recently, Chris Moyles was cleared for calling a ringtone "gay" on air, after Radio 1 judged the term to mean "rubbish" and not a playschool slice of casual homophobia. Sadly, Chris Moyles then made things a bit harder for Radio 1 to wriggle out of by calling women "dirty whores" during a chat.

An Ofcom investigation took place, and three cases of Chris Moyles' bad mouth spurting off like an angry goose have been upheld. According to the BBC, Chris Moyles has promised Radio 1 controller Andy Parfitt that he won't be so rampantly offensive in the future, with a spokesman saying:

In future, presenters who swear on air would be subject to disciplinary measures and persistent offenders could be taken off air."

But this isn't all bad news – because of Chris Moyles swearing like a monkey on the radio every day, the BBC has reaffirmed its 'sliding scale' of the offensiveness of various swearwords. So here's the BBC swearword chart rundown, based on sales and radioplay and whatever:

At six, down three places this week, its God 

A non-mover at five; cockney favourite Bloody 

In at four, it's a new entry for spritely newcomer Bastard

While at three, slowly creeping up the charts; Wanker

No change at number two, everyone's perennial fall-back swearword, Fuck

And number one with a bullet this week, a cheeky offering all the way from Chaucerian times, it's Cunt

Which sort of sums Chris Moyles up nicely, we think.

Read more:

Radio 1 To Fine Hosts Who Swear – This Is London

[story by Stuart Heritage]