hecklerspray's ability to separate reality from fiction has always been minimal.  That's why we cried endlessly when Jessica Rabbit didn't show up to take us to the enchantment under the sea dance, and why we raised such a stink when our district attorney refused to press charges against any of the nine LOTR black riders. We mean c'mon! Let's get those guys off the street!

Sometimes the only thing that gets us out of bed in the morning was the letter we wrote ourselves from Batwoman. It said stuff about how she loved us so much, could we please empty the dishwasher, and if we could not wear her costume whilst going out for milk, because we wobbled in the boots and the bottom part of the cape was getting tattered.  

Well dreams be gone, because DC Comics has decided hecklerspray's "former girlfriend" (who we had totally whooped, by the way) Batwoman will be switching teams. That's right, the next incarnation of Batwoman will be a lesbian.  

The good news is Batwoman's coming back. The weird news is she'll be a lesbian this time around. The character was last seen in 1979 when she got assassinated by a man – figures. Comic book artist Jimmy Palmiotti, who has drawn for both Marvel and DC has been quoted on the matter thusly:

"Unless she has lesbian superpowers… it really doesn't change her character except the soap opera value.”

According to some, the Batwoman character was originally introduced to stave off rumors of a Batman/Robin high octane love-romp, making this sudden switch a tad bit ironic.

Another interesting change to Batwoman is that she will no longer carry a bat-purse (we swear we're not making this up) with all her crime fighting supplies in it, rather she'll have a utility belt too. This change should both add to her crime fighting prowess and make her hips look smaller.

We'd like to take a moment to soothe the worries so many might have regarding the new Batwoman's crime fighting credibility. hecklerspray used to fight lesbians all the time. Let us tell you they are very tough. Sure, you can grab them by their gigantically oversized unbuttoned flannel shirt and try to spin them around and stuff, but somehow they always manage to slam you violently into the frozen food section, field of posies, neighbour's bar mitzvah, slow walking crowd of senior citizens with down syndrome, wheelchair-bound nun who'd later die of internal injuries, or what have you.  

But you get the picture.  This new Batwoman's lesbian tendencies won't lessen her ability to bring evil to justice. They'll just make her more adamant about catching Catwoman.

Read more:

Batwoman hero returns as a lesbian – BBC

[story by Shawn Lindseth]