Batman Begins is released this week. We haven’t seen it, but plenty of people have. How did they review it? Welcome to the hecklerspray digest.
Since he was conceived 66 years ago, Batman has had more makeovers than Carol Vorderman. He started life as a brooding, dark character, torn by inner demons. Then in the 1960’s, people thought he needed to reflect the times a bit more. So it was out with the angst and in with flashy colours and pantomime villains who tried to kill him by pouring tea slowly on his head.
Tim Burton (DVDs) gave Batman a boost in the late 1980’s, by deciding to focus more on the villains than the hero, starting with the outstanding Jack Nicholson as the Joker. When Joel Schumacher took over the franchise, it quickly descended into an orgy of plastic bat-nipples and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Now Christopher Nolan (DVDs) has made Batman Begins, taking the caped crusader right back to his dark roots. But what did the review writers think of it? Lets find out…
Fiore Mastracci from Outtakes With Fiore gives us the following hint "KEY SCENES TO LOOK FOR: 1) BATMAN’S ESCAPE FROM THE FUNNEL OF BATS." This
explanation would be more helpful if Fiore made it clear what kind of
bats were in the funnel. Cricket bats? Baseball bats? We need to know.
David Denby from The New Yorker is under the impression that "The dialogue sounds as if it were written after taking a course in self-realisation on Santa Monica Boulevard." If
anything, this makes us wants to see the film more – we’d love to see
Batman punch criminals in the face with one hand while holding a copy
of Chicken Soup For The Soul in the other.
Newsround speaks for children around the world. They say "some of the action is a little hard to follow, as so much of it happens
in shadow. It can be a bit hard to see who’s being whomped by the Bat."
Gene Seymour from Newsday thinks "you walk away from this one wishing someone was allowed to hop on all fours and twitch, just to lighten the mood" – but you could say that about any film. Requiem For A Dream? Bit serious, isn’t it? Let’s have Jennifer Connelly hop on all fours and twitch. Come to think of it, that’s more or less how the film ends.
The man who has two giant thumbs poking out of his shoulders instead of arms, Roger Ebert, came out with the following confusing explanation: "I said this is the Batman movie I’ve been waiting for; more correctly,
this is the movie I did not realise I was waiting for, because I didn’t
realise that more emphasis on story and character and less emphasis on
high-tech action was just what was needed". So, you liked it, Rog?
Roger’s thumbpal – Richard Roeper – can’t be bothered to write a review, so he’s taped himself yammering on about the film. He says "This is the darkest of the Batman movies… one of the year’s best films".
Finally, Martin McLaughlan from Rinkworks tells us to watch out for "An octopus rigged with a bomb". You heard it here first, folks.
[story by Stuart Heritage]