People often use the term 'crazy' to describe a sale – but that usually means crazy as in 'unusually cheap', not crazy as in 'Britney Spears shaving off all her hair while muttering about her mother and sobbing a lot before pleading for help at hospital'.
Forget worrying about the mental well-being of a former sexy teen pin-up, the most interesting thing to have come from bald Britney Spears getting all her hair shaved off last week is that now everyone wants to buy bald Britney's hair for reasons too creepy for us to even think about. And although eBay ruined everyone's fun by removing the sale of bald Britney Spears' lopped-off hair, the salon where Britney Spears went bald has now set up BuyBritneysHair.com to sell Britney's hair. To you. Directly. For a million dollars. That may seem a lot, but when Britney Spears inevitably has a full-scale mental breakdown and/or suicide attempt, that clump of hair seem like an investment, mark these words.
Britney Spears – or Bald Britney Spears The Vagina-Whirling Collapsey Hand-Puker to use her full name – is used to being Queen Of The Internet. When she was a lean young pop muppet, people searched for pictures of Britney Spears bending over in tight tops or gyrating against a snake. Then when she became a woman, people were interested to hear about Britney Spears' children and family life. Then came the Kevin Federline split and the inevitable surge to scour the internet for pictures of Britney Spears' ubiquitous minge.
But all of that pales into insignificance now that Britney Spears has cut off all her hair in a fit of disturbing tears. Now the two most common search-terms across the entire internet are 'OMG WTF is with bald Britney?' and 'I need to buy Britney's hair immediately'. And Esther Tognozzi's beauty salon is only too happy to help – since Britney went there to cut her hair off, the salon is selling off bald Britney Spears' hair whether you like it or not.
At first Tognozzi tried to sell the bald Britney Spears hair on eBay, but when the site removed the sale, the salon took matters into its own hands and created BuyBritneysHair.com – a site that can sell Britney's hair free of the constraints of ethics and professional courtesy, with an opening bid of a million dollars. According to BuyBritneysHair.com:
This is it, the opportunity of a lifetime. You can be the proud owner of Britney Spears' hair, extensions, the Omega clipper used to cut it all off and even the can of Red Bull she was drinking at the time. You also get her blue Bic Lighter and this valuable domain and website to use for publicity purposes. This is the Ultimate Britney Spears Experience! It is a piece of history that can not be duplicated!
That's right, it cannot be duplicated. Unless Britney Spears waits a few months and then does it again, in which case it can quite easily be duplicated. If it seems as though the salon is cashing in on a young woman's very obvious mental deterioration in the most grotesquely opportunistic way, then you're wrong – a portion of the money raised will go to charity. True – it's only 0.002% and it's going to the Esther Tognozzi Wants Nicer Shoes charity, but it's a start.
As crazy – and let's face it, this is crazy – as the story of bald Britney Spears is, it's also a little bit too disturbing for us to enjoy properly. How we long for the simple days when Britney Spears would do nothing more serious than endanger the lives of her children and enrage an entire organised religion. Happy days.
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Lance K says
face it – whoever buys that hair is going to stuff his humping pillow with it
Celebrity Blog says
Lance – HAHA i think your on to something there…
Mary says
I think that if she wants to shave her hair that is her business. As far as the hair goes. I think that Britney should sell it and donate the money from the sale of the hair to a place that make wigs for people who are going through cancer treatments which unfortunately loose all there hair. Now that would be for a really good cause.
Amber says
I think that it was nice to do that but to shave her hair like that that would take some guts she could of at least cut her hair really short not shave it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kim Miller says
Britney,
I have been watching you for years. And praying for you. You are a beautiful girl, and I know you have a GREAt heart!!!! I would love to speak or correspond with you. I don’t want your money or fame!! I want to share something with you, that will change your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I want to unconditionally LOVE you for who you are.
Not your fame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please please get to her!!!!! I will continue to write until I hear something!!!!
Have a Blessed day!!!!!!
Much Love and concern!!!!!!
Kim Miller
Mobile Alabama
jade says
i used to think u were ok!!! i reli cant c wot has got’n in2 u!!!! ur mad!!!! a complete looney bin!!!!!
Cable says
She’s amazing! She’s made herself even LESS attractive!
But at least we know she IS as stupid as she looks.
amy says
im sure what ever britney is going through she will come through it a stronger person. she has had so much going on in her life at the moment what with her personal life and the media its not suprising she has had a break down. britney is human like the rest of us and even the strongest of people can do daft things in its momen tof madness. whoever buys britneys hair is rahter sad i must admit at the end of the day she is a human just like the rest of us just trying to earn a living. i think the money made from the sale should go to a good cause at least that way something good has come out of all of this. get well soon britnye you still have fans out here who care and wan tthe old britney back
Eric says
Hey Now
The Carpet matches the Drapes!
stacey says
dear
Britney Spears my name is Stacey and all i want to no is why you shaved your i mean like were you drunk, do someone blackmail you because every one in school is wandering why you did when i
looked in the news paper it said that you were crying for 10 mins and then you went in to the into the hairdressers and shaved your hair then you went and got 2 tatos and got a peirce
thankyou yours truely stacey
emily says
heya i thought britney wos really pretty but now shes shaved all her hair of she isnt tht pretty now but she still a good singer and i like her sister jamie-lynee i watch all her programmes zoey 101 there ace xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Eric Layne says
The drunken Britney worshipers in the comments above are baffling. I imagine they each have a Britney shrine in their bedroom closet, complete with ‘Get Well Soon Britney I Love You Soooo Much’ cards and a life-size Britney poster.
ManateeMan says
Fuck me, Britney could play Demi Moore with a number one cut like that.
FTWilliams says
A couple things here,Jade take spelling lessons because you’re coming across illiterate. Kim you need a life and are most likely to be arrested for stalking,people like you need to come back to the real world.Any one that buys Britneys hair is a moron.
Frazer says
Britney Spears Is Now A God To Me I Must Follow In Her Footsteps
! ! ! Shaving For Justice ! ! !
casey says
hair or no hair, i would still hit it! she can cry and act crazy all she wants.. she doesn’t owe anything to her fans or her detractors (i lean towards the latter). but this isn’t about her work. this is about people. as “crazy” as you all think she is, you’re all still talking about her and making her relevant when she clearly isn’t. everyone has moments.. moods… phases… whatever you want to call it. i just hope someone is there to snap your picture and make fun of you in public the next time you act out or pull a bonehead move.
laughing says
Does anyone really care what some Hollywood twit does.
Some of you people who are hung up on this twit need to get lives, and try using spell check before you reply.
There is enough crap to worry about in the world today besides Britney and her foolish crap.
Bl0ndee says
Umm so ive been reading comments about britney’s hair shaving and i just want ot say that FTWilliams should mind his own bussiness and grow tha hell up and not critisize people about what they have to say and that goes for all of you that like to make everything your business …..
Thats Alll
Britney Rocks !!!!!!
Jessica says
hey you i cant belive you shaved your head you look like a fag
jdog says
Come on people… she shaved her head. Big deal! When I was in high school in 1991 I shaved my head (I am a guy, but nobody shaved their heads back then) and everyone was staring at me and I was even threatened by people on my soccer team for looking like a nazi. I really can’t believe people are shocked by this. Does Sinéad O’Connor ring a bell? Wait a second… oh my gosh… I just saw a guy with his right ear pierced… gotta run and call the Press.
Cameron Reilly says
Have we got this all wrong? Is Britney just trying to raise money for leukemia?
Britney Spears Shaves Head to Raise $1million for Leukemia
Matthew Laidlow says
Oh the amount of puns of this stroy is endless.
Britney Shears
Shave Me Baby One More Time
Chortle chortle……..
We dig the wig………………….
You're All Missing The Point says
There’s no doubt that Britney’s haircutting actions are bizarre. However, both those who would condemn Britney as well as those who would praise her are all missing the point completely.
Think carefully for a moment. In an industry where looks are everything, where a woman’s hair practically defines her (as sick as that concept is), Britney has chosen to sheer it all off. The obvious question becomes, “Why would she do it?” The answer is blazingly obvious. She doesn’t want it anymore. She’s sick of the fame. She’s sick of the lifestyle. And cutting off the hair is a subconscious way to reject all of that, with the hidden hope that her torment will subside. But she’s so codependent that she can’t just abandon the lifestyle. So, true to the borderline personality that she is, she makes a sweeping “statement” that her looks don’t matter any more, so stop paying attention to her…but please keep paying attention!
She is obviously in an incredible amount of pain. That’s what all the partying is really all about…trying to mask the pain. All drug, alcohol, and other substance abuse involves trying to mask pain in one form or another. The flashing, the risky lifestyle, all of it. It’s all about unsuccessfully handling pain. Undoubtedly she has issues that go way back, probably to her earliest childhood, that she’s never dealt with. And she probably doesn’t want to deal with it. She doesn’t want to have to face the pain, which is ultimately the only way to defeat it. Instead, like so many others who fight various forms of addiction, she prefers to mask the pain instead.
So unlike 99.999% of all other respondents, I actually feel sorry for her. I know, she’s got millions. She’s got “everything she wants.” But in fact, she doesn’t. She hoped that all the fame, success, fan-love, and fortune would eliminate the pain. Unfortunately, that’s not the way life works.
I don’t know what the source of her particular pain is. But I guarantee it’s there. And anyone who tries to pretend that all this is something else, that it’s yet another reason to “love” Britney or mock Britney or drag her through the streets or what-have you, is simply missing the point about what’s really going on here. This is a young woman who is crying out for help. And all she gets for her trouble is “fan-love,” mocking, and verbal abuse. None of them really give a damn about her as a human being, or else they’d behave differently.
jonz says
“Missing the point”…U *almost* have it. It is about her being a human being, a shallow human being, and that’s why most of the world doesn’t give a damn. Paris Hilton’s recent dis was especially telling…Hilton is the ultimate, superficial “IT” girl and when she realized being seen with Britney was more a joke than cool she dropped/tossed her like an old potato!
She is desperate for attention, but she isn’t rejecting her fame/fortune/blah, blah, blah. She’s just terrified that she isn’t relevant in this post-pop, hip-hop/R&B world. Most men (and some women) want to jump Beyonce’s bones. Though they’re the same age, Beyonce is a svelte songstress that even the white/Asian guys love who’s on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Britney’s is a homely, dumpy has-been with two babies and a loser (ex) husband. His Super Bowl commercial was more entertaining than whatever she’s put out in the past few years – and that’s SAD.
When she hooked up with K-Fed she thought she was going to do pull Madonna – have the babies, the bling-bling and the adulation. Remember that lesbo kiss between them a few years ago? Like Madonna’s first baby’s daddy, K-Fed was a backup dancer in her crew. But Madonna is constantly reinventing herself; though Madonna’s efforts to appeal to the younger demographic are as old and worn out as her coochie. Britney’s attempts have fallen flat and she won’t be able to (easily) recover from the world’s mocking. The best she can hope for is to become a perpetual joke, a la Anna Nicole Smith and we all know what happened to her. Sometimes I think Britney’s latest stunt was a means of snatching the tabloid press’ attention from the Smith drama.
I feel no more sympathy for her than other attention-getters closer to home. Many women go through the same family issues or worse without the luxury of having someone there to lliterally wipe their behinds. She reminds me of the high school divas who fell from grace, kicked out of the “in” crowd and derided by other cliques, including the social rejects. The’re desperate to bring attention – any attention – to themselves because that’s all they know. They’ve never built meaningful lives outside of their shallow existence and then they’re beside themselves in self-pity. I’m supposed to feel sorry for someone when I have a real life to live? Puh-lease.
Keka Galindo says
I heard that someone is trying to buy Britney’s hair to make vodou with it. Is that possible?
reeaes says
awwwwwwwwwwwwww! i thought ur haur was pretty.
James says
Anyone on here who thinks they have the authority to speak about Britney like they actually KNOW her is a is a sad cunt.
Jovan says
I think it is not good what she did, for me she is crazy
when you have a lot of money than you don’t know what to do?
Rich
Boogey Man says
You all go crazy over about her shaving her hair and the salon trying to sell it for a mill. I say so what. Let me know when she saves her bush and sells it for a mill. Then we have a stickin story to tell about!
fucker says
You idiot shaved your head for a drug test. duh
charles stewart says
hay britney i hope you get better soon my kids look up to you you are our no 1 true fan take care and get well soon all of us from scotland xx
Taylor says
She looks so fucking ugly! She fucked up because she had such pretty hair! This is what happens when you do drugs!
Bob says
Look People..the bitch is tripin…shes on crack…but what ever.. its what she wants to do
gabby says
oops i did it again
i shaved off her hair
ooo baby baby
oops i did it agan
i shaved off my hair
i feel so sorry 4 britney she was such a preety gal nw shess ruwend it. isn’t she a silly billy