Badvertising: Use Your Head, Teach

They say that teaching is a noble profession, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Face it - spending your days trapped in a room with 30 hormonal bell-ends who vocally despise you isn't anyone's idea of fun. But you wouldn't know that from watching the government's current TV advert to try and encourage people to become teachers.

Titled Use Your Head, Teach, the advert attempts to show the kind of imaginative questions that youthful minds can dream up, but in reality it's a list of exactly the sort of queries that'd make a teacher's blood run cold. Honestly, ask a teacher any of the questions from the Use Your Head, Teach advert and you'll be able to see the precise moment they think "What? I've only been trained how to teach from this specific textbook. I don't know what the sodding universe expands into. I'm such a failure."

So, to help out any struggling teachers who've been caught out by the Use Your Head, Teach advert, we've painstakingly compiled the correct answer to every single one of the questions asked in it. Ready?

1 - Shut up. 2 - No. 3 - Wrong. 4 - Shut up. I don't know. Die? 5 - Shut up. 6 - Shut up. 7 - Wouldn't you like to know, fatty. 8 - Shut up. 9 - Have you ever met a blonde person? They're crap. 10 - Shut up. 11 - Oh, now you're just taking the piss. 12 - “Mer mer mer, look at me, I'm so deep.” Shut up and get a bloody haircut.