When you think of Birds Eye, you think of food. You don’t think of once popular singers who hail from East Sussex.

Sadly though, it seems that Suggs, the singer of Madness has decided to suck the corporate cock of Birds Eye and let them ejaculate a substantial amount of money in his direction. All so he can promote their range of frozen foods. Everyone knows that the true spokesman of Birds Eye is, of course, Captain Birdseye – a man who could get us to eat anything from the sea, be it squid, eel or part of a rusty old bike. He had us in his fishy smelling palm. No-one could better him.

And it’s great to see Suggs make an absolute twat of himself as he tries to become the new Captain Birdseye. We don’t care if Birds Eye makes good mood food. Not when Suggs is making adverts that make us feel like we’ve died a bit inside. Just fuck off back to your creepy street where all the neighbours seem to like each other and there’s no annoying kid refusing to eat the same as everyone else.