We’re all for equality and making sure everyone is treated the same. Don’t believe us? Then ask Pablo, our Mexican cleaner.

Every day for his services for removing coffee stains and rancid mustard from our desks, he receives a shiny coin or a slice of pie. People who have previously called us ‘cruel heartless bastards’ need their heads looked at.

Sometimes however, it is best to keep people away from things that they aren’t good at. In rare cases such as Jade Goody and Paris Hilton, simple minded people have slipped through the cracks and appeared on TV. Granted they entertain us, we will begrudgingly admit, but so many better programmes could replace them.

When it comes to advertising vital items like car insurance, we tend to worry that this dumbing down may have gone a step too far. We get presented with a ’simple’ man, trying to flog us car insurance.

Look at the pathetic sod; he doesn’t seem to know where he is or what he’s doing. He’d buy some grass cuttings from you with the belief they’ll grow into a magical beanstalk, he’s that retarded.

This begs the question: would you really buy something from him which probably offers both dinosaur insurance and asteroid cover?

No, we thought not.