Ever seen anything and thought “Christ, that’s a load of bollocks. I could produce better things out of my anus”?

This happens to us on a regular basis, but nothing has ever truly angered us like the Envirofone advert that is still floating around between period dramas repeats on ITV. Honestly, it’s enough to make us want to pay the BBC double for our license fee, despite Hole In The Wall being considered a programme people enjoy.

We know that cutbacks are being made in the world of television and advertising, but come on! Is this really the best thing someone could come up with? It almost feels like someone gave the basic idea to a group of primary school kids and asked them to film something over the summer holidays. Share in our despair after the jump.

Terrifying isn’t the word. A shower of confusion just rained down upon us. Did the person responsible for casting actually bother to do any work? It looks like the roles were handed to the first people to show up. Let’s analyse:

“Do we have an old mobile phone?” – As a general rule, we don’t tend to keep old phone hanging around the house. Usually, our bellend phone providers take them back from us. Or the dog uses it as a chew toy. The Welsh girl is very fit and the camp punk just seems to be the creation of a bored stylist.

“Do we want some money for it?” You want our old tat and you’ll give us some money? Erm… OK, but isn’t this similar to the cash for gold thing that looks like it might con pensioners out of thousands of pounds? It’s still funny every time, but when the fat-headed man gets excited and squeals “Wonga!” at us, we can’t take it seriously. He’ll only use it to fund his pie habit.

So how do we get money for free? Supposedly there are three easy steps. Visit a website, chuck your phone in the post and then receive a cheque. Bingo – 50p for your 1997 Nokia brick.

In that respect, please leave your bank information in the comment box below and we’ll withdraw £15 for the hecklerspray subscription. You’ll receive a variety of shit every other month including chewed pens, used pizza boxes and tear-stained tissues.

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