McDonald’s seems to appear again and again on this feature.

Before you all think we must have got food poisoning off them once and subsequently hate Ronald McDonald, we don’t. Honestly, their advertising is just complete and utter pants. Nowadays, they have improved, but we’re still unconvinced that farmers hug all the cows before slashing their throats.

This time we’re travelling back to merry old 1978 where everyone in this advert seemed to be quite posh. Maybe McDonald’s wanted us to believe that people with class dined in their restaurants and not just scummy kids who’d steal the free straws, napkins and packets of sauce. Contain yourself, it’s after the jump…

First of all, we’ve never seen a fast food restaurant plonked so close to a river/canal/pond/ocean. Unless this is in a fancy area likes Cannes, then the idea of having floating McDonalds never really took off. The bloke on the jetski seems like he’d prefer to dine on deer and drinks dragon’s blood. But no, instead he chomps on the common person’s burger. Though we think he is comparing the lady in the advert to a Big Mac. The pervert.

So what is it about a Big Mac that keeps on making you come back? The child in the commercial seems to think it’s the sesame seed on top of the bun. If you’re reading this small child of the 70’s, it could be time to let you in on a little secret. It’s not the seeds. If the seeds are what kept you coming back, you’d probably retain some sort of normal body shape. Instead, 31 years later, there’s a good chance that all your return visits to McDonalds’s probably mean that you can no longer support your own weight and you constantly sweat processed cheese. That’s a lot of seeds.

McDonald’s also seemed to have crafted the world’s biggest burger for this advert. Couples, however, don’t seem to stop and stare at the giant mass of meat, bread and sauce that’s baring down in front of them, almost like a giant alien creature that’s coming to enslave the human race by inviting adults to gobble down its yummy exterior. Inside you’ll hear the distant moans of people who are trapped and fighting to get out.

The most hilarious thing of all is when the advert pulls to a shot of a McDonald’s drive thru. Subsequently, you’d assume that we’d see happy smiling families driving away with bags of food. Instead, we see people jogging past in nerdy-looking outfits. God bless you Mr Director, you really thought this through didn’t you?

Almost as successful as launching a range of salads. Oh.

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