Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
As paranormal events go, this one really stands out. It stands out, perhaps, because we’ve never heard of anything quite like it. There are no UFOs to speak of, nobody’s claimed a terrifying ape-man encounter deep in the woods, and as far as we can tell nobody’s gotten ghost-hickeys.
Ask our Aunt Sally about the hickeys.
Today’s topic is a man who has appeared in everybody’s dream.
There appears to be some very strange epidemic wherein one man is being seen in the dreams of people all over the world.
You’re probably wondering exactly how anybody could possibly know that their dream phantom looks exactly like one who haunts the night-fantasies of so many others. The answer is simple – from ThisMan.org:
“In January 2006 in New York, the patient of a well-known psychiatrist draws the face of a man that has been repeatedly appearing in her dreams. In more than one occasion that man has given her advice on her private life. The woman swears she has never met the man in her life.
“That portrait lies forgotten on the psychiatrist’s desk for a few days until one day another patient recognizes that face and says that the man has often visited him in his dreams. He also claims he has never seen that man in his waking life.
“The psychiatrist decides to send the portrait to some of his colleagues that have patients with recurrent dreams. Within a few months, four patients recognize the man as a frequent presence in their own dreams. All the patients refer to him as THIS MAN.”
Not everybody who sees This Man is necessarily getting life changing advice from him. Some people are just flying through the air with him at their side. Some see him escorting them out of a shopping mall with a confusing floor plan, and still others find themselves making sweet, sticky love to him all day long forever and ever.
Some say he’s a human being who’s somehow obtained the ability to project himself into people’s dreams anywhere in the world. Some say while doing so he can change his appearance so that he’d never be recognised in the street. Still other’s think it’s God himself gracing the sleep-time of mortals across the globe.
Our theory is that Israel is somehow behind all this, and they’re doing it to eventually get all westerners attracted to sheep.
That’s not really our theory, but those guys sure catch flack, don’t they?
Now you all know that we here at hecklerspray are truly dedicated to getting multiple sources for absolutely every story we ever tell you. This time, however, we’re not going to do that because there are three bats perched in an office corner behind us and the closest broom is two floors down.
We’re a bit panicked, you understand.
As such, we’ll close out today’s story with a bunch of alleged first hand encounter quotes from the same website we just used.
Again, it’s from ThisMan.org:
“I have had this recurrent dream for some years now. A tall, dark man shows me a picture and asks me if I can recognise my father in it. The man in the picture is this man I have never seen before, he looks nothing like my dad, nevertheless I inexplicably answer that I do recognize my father. At this point I usually wake up feeling very peaceful. Other times the dream continues, I am standing before my father’s grave, I place some flowers on the ground and I realise the photograph on the tombstone is missing.”
“I fell in love with him from the very first time I saw him in my dream. Even though if I think about it I must admit he’s really ugly. And yet each and every time, he sweeps me off my feet with his romantic gestures and sweet words. He buys me flowers, jewellery, he takes me out to dinner or to the beach to watch the sunset.”
“I have always had this dream of flying in the sky over my city and observing my friends from up there. Since I moved to another house I started meeting this man while flying. Not every single time that I have this dream about flying, but often enough. He flies too, but he never speaks.”
“The first time I had a dream about this man I was having a hard time at work. I had a dream about getting lost in a huge and deserted shopping mall. Suddenly this man appeared and I started running away from him. He chased after me for what seemed like an hour until I found myself against a wall in the kids’ area in a supermarket. At this point he smiled at me and he showed me the way out towards the cash desks and I woke up. Ever since that night this man has appeared in all of my dreams and he always gives me directions to get out of the dream and wake up.”
“I have never had homosexual relationships or even fantasies. But I dream about having sexing with this man all the time. I must admit he has a lot of imagination and he pleases me. Sometimes when I wake up I discover I have had a nocturnal emission.”
“I saw this man in my dream, dressed as Santa Klaus. When he showed up I felt so happy, just like when I was a little girl. Then he smiled at me and his head became a balloon,floating in the air above me, but no matter how hard I tried to catch it, I just couldn’t reach it.”
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve several bats to pin to the ground, trap in a bag and toss out a window.