Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
In today's world, it's not uncommon to talk about human beings orbiting the earth, walking on the moon or sometimes somebody who's done that kind of stuff driving cross country in diapers to possibly murder her boyfriend's true love. A long time ago though – say hundreds or thousands of years – mankind must have thought the only thing living way up in the heavens was God himself.
Except for the people who already knew of mortals flying beyond the stratosphere. They'd not be surprised by our space-flight accomplishments at all. There's allegedly evidence that some people cite to prove astronauts were around a long, long time ago.
Some might argue that at least hundreds of years ago our ancestors cruised through outer space in crude, wooden spaceships powered by either sail or steam. Most would argue that we made that up just now.
There really are, though, vocal proponents that argue for something called an 'Ancient Astronaut' theory. They cite quite a bit of evidence for this too. Of course none of the evidence is so grand it will knock you on your duff, proving once and for all that cavemen knew how to make oxygen tanks – compiled, however, it does make a thought-provoking list.
Wikipedia sums up part of the 'pro' arguments:
"Proponents of ancient astronaut theories point to what they perceive as gaps in historical and archaeological records and also what they see as an absence of definitive explanations in certain contexts from the archaeological sciences. Advocates of these theories put forward as evidence their interpretations of various archaeological artifacts, which they deem to have been anachronistic or beyond the presumed technical capabilities of the historical cultures they are associated with. Another common theme relies upon the interpretation of depictions in certain ancient artworks as being representations of actual extraterrestrial visitors as realized by the contacted cultures."
Some of the artwork talked about there are just anciently drawn pictures or sculptures that in retrospect, look an awful lot like today's basic image of an astronaut. Examples of this can be found in some giant Italian landscape-paintings from around 10,000 BC that seem to depict two beings wearing a circular helmet, or in 'the Great Martian Gods,' which is a picture drawn in the Saharan Desert floor of a gigantic cyclops surrounded by what looks like disk-shaped UFOs.
The alleged ancient visitations resulted in more than just pictures – the greater portion of the ancient Astronaut theories would seem to be that we are the end result. A long time ago either our ancestors or our owners came to earth, then left us behind.
Again, Wikipedia has the skinny:
"Ancient astronaut adherents often claim that humans are either descendants or creations of beings who landed on Earth millennia ago. An associated theory is that much of human knowledge, religion and culture came from extraterrestrial visitors in ancient times: ancient astronauts acted as a “mother culture.”"
So our folks basically left us, but check in from time to time to make sure we're not at each other's throats. But of course we are at each others throats, so they're not doing a very good job.
Perhaps we are a grand experiment being studied from afar, planted here ages ago for the sole purpose of seeing the evolution of consciousness and what its development makes us do.
Or perhaps really ancient people were just into sci-fi too.
They probably had a Roddenberry in a moose-skin or something. Yes, it's all clear to us now.
Ancient Astronauts
gir says
“Proponents of ancient astronaut theories point to what they perceive as gaps in historical and archaeological records and also what they see as an absence of definitive explanations in certain contexts from the archaeological sciences.”
Boy that sure doesn’t sound like an appeal to ignorance.
“Advocates of these theories put forward as evidence their interpretations of various archaeological artifacts, which they deem to have been anachronistic or beyond the presumed technical capabilities of the historical cultures they are associated with.”
Occam’s razor hacks this one off at the knee. “Rather than the explanation that someone came up with a slightly better harvesting technology than ‘bending over and picking stuff up,’ we theorize that the scythe was brought to earth by men in spaceships from another galaxy.”
“Another common theme relies upon the interpretation of depictions in certain ancient artworks as being representations of actual extraterrestrial visitors as realized by the contacted cultures.”
Amazing…I never thought it could be proven that HG Wells talked to Martians AND Morlocks! So much interspecies diplomacy for just one life…
David Bryden says
Unlike Creationism, the theory of our extraterrestrial origins is a bona fide Scientific Theory.It’s a Scientific Theory because it makes a testable prediction; to wit, that our DNA will not be related to the DNA of other Earth species.And of course the tests were carried out decades ago, so we can further categorise this theory; it’s a Wrong Scientific Theory.
David Bryden says
>> "mankind must have thought the only thing living way up in the >> heavens was God himself."Eh? Which god would that be? There’s so many of them, I lose track.
Chris says
It could just have been two caveman sporting carcass hats to keep them in the shade.
this is obviously an advertisement for the designer gear.
look at how they’re dancing with joy from their new purchase. i rest my case
Cris Alborn says
Now, it is more difficult see people living in caves that people with helmets.
Tina says
I am seriously perplexed by the belief that cave dwelling humans were just too dumb to build houses. I mean, ancient man had a bigger brain, a robust body and buried their dead, so why not build a house and stop telling stories about supposed ancient cataclysms that forced them to live in caves in the first place. This leads me to the whole Ancient Astronaut hypothesis. We are so quick to assume ancient man was dumb as a doornail and yet, what-if there was a time before cave-dwelling and tool making when humankind did perfect space flight? Everything we think we know we always find out is wrong. Maybe disrespecting our ancestors on the basis of half-assed scientific conclusions is wrong too.
Danni Bryden says
>> "what-if there was a time before cave-dwelling and tool making when >> humankind did perfect space flight?"Then they must have cleaned up their launch pads, and factories, and transport network, and leftover materials, very very very very very very very carefully. I wonder why.>> "Everything we think we know we always find out is wrong"Fuck! You mean algebra is wrong? Which part?
Eugene says
In a pre-Columbian temple in Central America, there is a carving of a strange item that looks exactly the same as the front of a Jeep.
Should we conclude from this that the early Meso-Americans had invented sport utility vehicles?