Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Let’s say for a second that while on vacation somewhere you’re enjoying a leisurely stroll. You notice a swarm of butterflies prancing on the wind. Squirrels are gracefully leaping about with mouthfuls of nuts, and a mother-bird gently feeds her young.

Then a gigantic owl/man hybrid comes screaming out of nowhere and swallows most of your face.

That, folks, is a slightly exaggerated version of today’s topic.

The Owlman of Mawnan is known by a few different names. Some people call him the Cornish Owlman, some refer to him as the Death Raptor, and in most local pubs where you can find him slumped over the bar every weekend he goes strictly by Ted.

And now for a physical description as brought to you by Unknown-Creatures.com:

This creature has been described as a monstrous thing resembling a mix of 3 beings; an owl, a bear, and a man. The creatures height is estimated as 7 feet tall. It has large flapping wings that are covered with grayish-brown feathers. The legs and body are also covered with feathers. The eyes are large, slanted and glow bright red. On top of it’s head are pointy ears, it’s feet have large, black crab-like claws.

After reading that, of course, the first thing that will probably come to mind is that the Owlman sounds an awfully lot like Batsquatch, except with huge sharp talons crammed into his loafers instead of size 22 toe-holders. If that’s what you thought, then you’re right. You’re right. That’s exactly what it sounds like.

It also sounds like a large, feathery creature of those proportions should have some eye witnesses too. Well it does. It says so right here on Wikipedia:

…Two months later two other young girls on July 3 14-year-old Sally Chapman was camping with a friend, Barbara Perry, in woods near the church. According to her account, as she stood outside her tent, she heard a hissing sound and turned to see a figure that looked like an owl as big as a man, with pointed ears and red eyes. The girls reported that the creature flew up into the air, revealing black pincer-like claws. Sightings of this figure continued to be reported on the following day.

Those weren’t the last of the sightings, either. The creature’s been spotted as recently as 1995, albeit probably with a Rachel-haircut.

It seems to us the real question here is why is this thing always associated with that church? Is it trying to repent for being half-bird (something Moses took great issue with, if we recall correctly). And why is it always appearing to young girls? Is it possible all the thing wants is a box of thin mints?

We don’t know, to be honest. Unfortunately we can’t answer any of these questions for you. We do, however, have a few suggestions for the locals. Put some of those cookies up on the bell tower and see if that doesn’t satisfy ol’ Owlman enough that he flaps on back to his home dimension.

Of course, if you’d rather have him lurking about you should do absolutely nothing.

We’re just saying…

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