Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts or just the plain unexplainable.

This week: Strange Facts

The world takes all types – and some of those types are mostly retarded. Take the subject of today's Awesome or Off-Putting for instance. It's the transcript of a woman's call to 911, wherein she demands the local law enforcement authority come to a Burger King and force some pimply-faced kid to make her a delicious hamburger.  

She needed police help because the unscrupulous fast food employees refused to bend to her will. Her will which, by the way, was demanding what we're pretty sure is Carl's Junior sandwich at a Burger King. All in all it's the funniest thing you'll read all day – guaranteed.

But you'll have to click to see.

Dispatcher: Sheriff's department, how can I help you?

Woman: Yeah, I'm over here… I'm over here at Burger King right here in San Clemente.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Um, no, not San Clemente; I'm sorry, I live in San Clemente. I'm in Laguna Niguel, I think, that's where I'm at.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I'm at a drive-through right now.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I went… I ordered my food three times. They're mopping the floor inside, and I understand they're busy… they're not even busy, okay, I've been the only car here. I asked them four different times to make me a Western Barbeque Burger. Okay, they keep giving me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, and cheese, onions, and I said, "I'm not leaving …"

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I want a Western Burger because I just got my kids from Tae Kwon Do, they're hungry, I'm on my way home, and I live in San Clemente.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Okay… she said, she gave me another hamburger; it's wrong. I said four times, I said, "I want it to go. Can you go out and park in front?" I said, "No, I want my hamburger right." So then the… the lady came to the manager. She… well whoever she is, she came up and she said, um, she said, um, "Do you want your money back?" And I said, "No, I want my hamburger. My kids are hungry and I have to jump on that toll freeway." I said, "I am not leaving this spot," and I said, "I will call the police," because I want my Western Burger done right! Now is that so hard?

Dispatcher: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?

Woman: I… send an officer down here. I… I want them to make me…

Dispatcher: Ma'am, we're not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

Woman: What am I supposed to do?

Dispatcher: This is… this is between you and the manager. We're not gonna go and enforce how to make a hamburger; that's not a criminal issue. There's… there's nothing criminal there.

Woman: So I just stand here… so I just sit here and [block]?

Dispatcher: You… you need to calmly and rationally speak to the manager and figure out what to do between you.

Woman: She did come up, and I said, "Can I please have my Western Burger?" She… she said, "I'm not dealing with it," and she walked away. Because they're mopping the floor, and it's also the fact that they don't want to… they don't want to go through there… and… and…

Dispatcher: Ma'am, then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This is… this is not a criminal issue. We can't go out there and make them make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.

Woman: Well… that is… that… you're supposed to be here to protect me.

Dispatcher: Well, what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?

Woman: No…

Dispatcher: Is this like… is this a harmful cheeseburger or something? I don't understand what you want us to do.

Woman: Just come down here. I'm not… I'm not leaving.

Dispatcher: No ma'am, I'm not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger. You need to go in there and act like an adult and either get your money back or go home.

Woman: She is not acting like an adult herself! I'm sitting here in my car; I just want them to make my kids a… a Western Burger.

Dispatcher: Ma'am, this is what I suggest: I suggest you get your money back from the manager and you go on your way home.

Woman: Okay.

Dispatcher: Okay? Bye-bye.

Read more:

Food 911 – Snopes (with audio)

[story by Shawn Lindseth]