Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artefacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
The problems with monsters, ghosts and aliens is that, sure – people see them – but there usually are no pictures to prove it. Sometimes a few frames get snapped off – but the blurry image in the distant background is rarely convincing of anything.
Imagine then, how shocked modern scientists must be as they examine an actual ‘baby alien’ body that was drowned by a scared Mexican farmer in 2007.
Here’s what we know about extra-terrestrial contact so far: Lots of people claim to be abducted by them, they like to embed tiny devices under our skin, and if rowdy children playing soccer wander to close to them, they’ll reach out and touch them.
That is literally all we know though. It’s been like 50 years since Roswell, and still the alien mystery lingers strong. Sometime in the nineties a video was released showing what was supposed to be the dissection of an alien body by scientists. It was called “Alien Autopsy,’ and it blew minds until somebody realised a coiled phone cord in the background hadn’t been invented at the time the film was supposed to take place.
And with that mankind glumly accepted the fact that if aliens actually were visiting our sweet, blue planet, they were probably too smart to get into flying traffic accidents, or to let any co-workers get their skin peeled back by a species that used to sit around all day eating dead skin and bananas.
“Mexican TV revealed the almost unbelievable story – in 2007, a baby ‘alien’ was found alive by a farmer in Mexico. He drowned it in a ditch out of fear, and now two years later scientists have finally been able to announce the results of their tests on this sinister-looking carcass. At the end of last year the farmer, Marao Lopez, handed the corpse over to university scientists who carried out DNA tests and scans. He claimed that it took him three attempts to drown the creature and he had to hold it underwater for hours. Tests revealed a creature that is unknown to scientists – its skeleton has characteristics of a lizard, its teeth do not have any roots like humans and it can stay underwater for a long time.”
“According to the scientists’ report, the alien baby can stay underwater for a long time, has the skeleton of a lizard, and has rootless teeth which are totally unlike humans’ teeth. However, it does have some similar joints to human. The brain of the alien baby is huge, particularly the rear section, which makes the scientists believe that the creature had very high intelligence.”
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hmmm…where are the results of these “DNA tests”? I’d be interested to see them.
Baby Monkey?
It’s a Cupacabra. But it’s cuter that the prawns in District 9.
I think it looks a lot like a little monkey. If I was going to suggest something far fetched, I’d say maybe it was a gnome from Argentina, like the one those kids took a video of a year or two ago. But if it’s something reptilian, then maybe it’s one of those reptilian shapeshifters David Icke talks about.
I wrote an article about this on my blog too. I also wrote about a goat that allegedly gave birth to a humanlike kid. You can click on my name if you want to read what I wrote about it.
I think it looks like a small baby monkey or monkey fetus. But there are no monkeys in Mexico are there?