Don’t let the title of this blog fool you, Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger certainly haven’t gotten any less lame, they’re still super fucking awful and lame, however, they may not be a couple for much longer. (Sadly) Canada’s most famous music couple (so ashamed to be Canadian right now) are, according to numerous sources, allegedly heading for divorce.
Avril Lavigne is barely 30 and she’s already set to be a two-time divorcee (she was previously married to Deryk Whibley of Sum 41. Another mediocre Canadian rockstar. She clearly has a type.) The two only got married in July 2013, so I guess it didn’t take too long for two of the most annoying celebrities in the world to start annoying each other.
Last month, Avril was spotted out partying with girlfriends sans wedding ring. As a newly wed, I can tell you that shit ain’t good, because if you’re a happily married woman who you don’t go to da club without your ring on. I go out and flash that shit all like: “Back off homeboy, this booty is taken” (okay, I’ve never said that, but you get my point).
According to other sources, Chad has constantly been hitting up the LA scene telling friends that they are divorcing, which is maybe a worse sign than Avril not wearing her ring.
Two opinions on this whole situation:
1) I don’t want these two assholes to get divorced because it means they might make shitty sad heartbroken divorce music which I really, really do not want. The world doesn’t need that shit. I don’t need that shit.
2) Instead of divorcing each other these two jerks should divorce music. AMIRITE?!
I literally can’t decide which one of these two I hate more, but realistically it’s probably Chad Kroeger. His facial hair and frosted tips alone make me want to smack the face off of him. I mean, it’s pretty bad when I think Avril Lavigne could do better.
Apparently one of their big issues was the fact that Avril really wanted to have a baby and Chad didn’t, and with that, I am going to say something I thought I’d never utter: God bless you, Chad Kroeger. I am so happy you did not want to do that to some poor, innocent child. I mean, having Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger as parents? The second it was old enough to hear their duet you’d have to talk the poor kid off a ledge.
Anyway, whether or not these two assholes divorce or stay together and make shitty music is really of no importance to me. But maybe one of you reading this actually gives a shit soooo, yeah, ya know, whatever.
Josh says
This was awesome, every time I hear a song from either one of them I cringe.