Of course Avatar was going to end up being the weekend box office number one – it’s got everything that people like.

It’s got action. It’s got dazzling visual effects. It’s got blue things that all look a little bit like Abraham Lincoln. It’s got the exact same plot as Dances With Wolves except with blue things that all look a little bit like Abraham Lincoln in it. It’s got Leona Lewis singing My Heart Will Go On at the end. Of course Avatar was going to end up being the weekend box office number one.

Which will come as a disappointment to anyone who thought that the new Hugh Grant film would end up being the weekend box office number one. So sorry, Hugh Grant’s immediate family.

Avatar has been hyped so relentlessly for so long that there was always a worry that it’d encounter something of a box office backlash. What if it wasn’t brilliant? What if it wasn’t the precise future of cinema? What if all the 3D made people throw up? What if audiences injured their necks trying to dodge Michelle Rodriguez‘s giant 3D jawbone? What if audiences realised that films starring Sam Worthington tend not to be very good?

Luckily for James Cameron, this doesn’t seem to be the case. Avatar has vaulted to the top of the weekend box office, even surpassing that weepy bollocks about Sandra Bullock looking after a footballer. The real test will be seeing if it can maintain its position for very long. It faces stiff competition over the next few weeks, and from films that don’t feature Sigourney Weaver as a wisecracking doctor. But that’s to worry about later – for now here’s the US weekend box office top five…

1 - Avatar (Avatar is such a game-changer that a new Oscar category has been announced in its honour. The Best Ridiculous -Over-Expensive Crap About Aliens Or Some Other Shit Like That winner will be announced in March) $73,000,000

2 - The Princess And The Frog (This isn’t being released in the UK until February, so no spoilers please – especially no spoilers about the film’s main animal/offensive national stereotype combination. That’s always our favourite part of Disney cartoons) $12,224,000

3 - The Blind Side (We’re starting to work out that The Blind Side will only be a success in America. At least until the UK does a remake where Tamsin Outhwaite looks after Matt Le Tissier or something) $10,030,000

4 - Did You Hear About The Morgans? (No. And, judging by its weekend box office tally, nor did anybody else) $7,000,000

5 - New Moon (Experiencing a last-minute surge in box office takings as audiences realise that this’ll be the last film where Dakota Fanning won’t be waggling her norks around in a basque. They grow up so fast, don’t they?) $4,370,000

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