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Stuart Heritage

Wayne Rooney Allegedly Shags Hooker, World Sort Of Shrugs

by Stuart Heritage

Hold on to your hats, kids – according to a newspaper, a footballer might be a bit sexually promiscuous. We know. It’s bizarre, isn’t it? To think that a member of the footballing profession – a profession that requires the strength of a superhero, the brains of a rocket scientist and the sound moral judgement [...]

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Message From The Editor: It’s My Last Week

by Stuart Heritage

Hello everyone. So. Bad news. After a long period of uncharacteristic soul-searching, I’ve reached the painful decision to stand down as hecklerspray editor as of Friday. It hasn’t been an easy choice to make – I’ve been here for five years, and this has been my entire life for most of that time – but [...]

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Win! An Impressive Kick-Ass Box Set! Now!

by Stuart Heritage

Kick-Ass is one of the best films of the year and, as we learnt last week, one of the most impossible films to follow if you’re trying to watch the censored version on an aircraft. But forget that, because Monday sees the DVD release of Kick-Ass (order it here) and we’ve got a phenomenal giveaway [...]

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Paris Hilton Several Times Stupider Than Anybody Imagined

by Stuart Heritage

So. You’re Paris Hilton. Wait, wait, take that man’s penis out of your mouth, we haven’t finished yet. OK, you’re Paris Hilton. You’ve just been arrested and charged with felony cocaine possession after a police officer found a bag of drugs in your handbag. Luckily you have a cast-iron excuse – the bag isn’t yours. [...]

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Natalie Portman Wears A Sort Of Red Thing At A Premiere

by Stuart Heritage

What’s the best thing about Natalie Portman? Her constant determination to take on one challenging role after another? Her fierce political activism? Her intellectualism? No, you idiots. The best thing about Natalie Portman is probably the way that she looks quite nice when she wears pretty dresses. Look at her, all pretty in a lovely [...]

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SLACKERJACK – Effing Worms

by Stuart Heritage

Make no mistake, we had more fun playing Effing Worms than we’ve had in ages. It’s brilliant – just like Tremors, but you play the worm monster instead of Kevin Bacon or any of those idiots. Leap out from underground, eat a few cows and continue. Awesome. But what makes Effing Worms really special is [...]

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Peaches Geldof Not Engaged, Just Annoying And Tedious

by Stuart Heritage

Good news, boys! Even though Peaches Geldof has been marauding around with an engagement ring, she isn’t actually engaged. She’s still on the market! Hooray! We still have a chance of marrying her ourselves! Because, make no mistake, Peaches Geldof is a catch. What we wouldn’t give for a wife as droning and pointless and [...]

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Tiger Woods Buys World’s Most Expensive Shag Pad

by Stuart Heritage

Now that Tiger Woods is single again, he can throw himself into the bachelor lifestyle with wild abandon.

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Dancing With The Stars: David Hasselhoff’s Awful Sex Vehicle

by Stuart Heritage

This year’s Dancing With The Stars will feature the likes of Bristol Palin, The Situation and Michael Bolton.

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SLACKERJACK – Age Of War 2

by Stuart Heritage

True story – Age Of War probably got the best reaction of any Slackerjack we’ve ever published. People loved it, and no wonder. It was brilliant. And here’s Age Of War 2. Whoopee. The good news is that it’s just as good as before. Age Of War 2 works just the same as its predecessor [...]

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