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Steve Charnock

It Will Kill You: Hippos

by Steve Charnock

If there’s one thing you should have learnt from It Will Kill You by now, it’s that animals are big hard buggers who hate you and want you dead. And we mean all of them: rats, bats, eels, seals, anteaters and, er, well you get the idea…

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Badvertising: BT

by Steve Charnock

There are plenty of reasons to hate television advertising. The very fact that six Hoxton-finned bastards in two grand suits get paid six-figure salaries to ‘touch base’ and talk about the best way to con you out of your pocket money should be enough.

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Becks’ Sex Texts: In Context and Contest

by Steve Charnock

There are many differences between Americans and the British. They are a young, driven country, full of hope and motivated by optimism, pride and a sense of moral justice. We are a reserved, sardonic people steeped in heritage and history. We watch The Office, they watch The Office: An American Workplace

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Heidi Montag To Add Another Broken String to Her Bow

by Steve Charnock

Jennifer Aniston used to get paid $1,000,000 for every episode of Friends she flipped her hair and whored about in. Adam Sandler has appeared in some of the highest-grossing film comedies ever and won acting plaudits for more serious roles in movies like Punch-Drunk Love and Funny People. Nicole Kidman has a Best Actress Oscar. [...]

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Top Ten Ridiculous Movie Edits For TV

by Steve Charnock

There are certain places that you’re allowed to swear: in the bedroom of a loved one during some sort of steamy romp, a rum-fuelled pool party round Samuel L. Jackson’s house, a Derek & Clive record. But there are other places where it’s not so cool to swear: in the bedroom of a dying relative [...]

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Hot Tub Time Machine Trailer! Decoded!

by Steve Charnock

William Shakespeare once wrote, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” And what better way to start a look at the trailer for a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine than a quote from The Bard of Avon? But what is in a name? [...]

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American Idol: Cowell & DeGeneres (Probably) Hate Each Other

by Steve Charnock

American Idol newbie Ellen DeGeneres (who has a name containing more Es than Lil Wayne’s tour bus) and head honcho Simon Cowell have reportedly fallen out behind the scenes of the talent show. Apparently the frostiness between the pair began after Cowell pitched up an hour and a half late for the first day of [...]

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Top Ten TV Breakdowns!

by Steve Charnock

The sixties were all about ‘Free love’. The seventies was the age of great movie-making and music. The eighties was epitomised by consumerism and the 1990’s had er, the Tamagotchi. Every decade becomes synonymous with a particular movement, fashion or mood. As such, the 2010’s (or ‘Teens’ as it’s known to total idiots) will henceforth [...]

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It Will Kill You: Box Jellyfish

by Steve Charnock

Consider the following: Beverley Callard in a WonderBra, cute little Gary Coleman, Michael Jackson fans somehow being able to use computers. All proof that looks can be deceiving. Further proof of this can be found in one of nature’s more bizarre creations, the Box Jellyfish. They are an abomination so absurd that you can only imagine [...]

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Top 12: Drunk-Seeming Celebrity TV Appearances

by Steve Charnock

Not so long ago Uncle Hecklerspray sat you on its knee and told you about Mariah Carey’s champagne-inspired ‘Best Breakthrough Actress’ award acceptance speech at the Palm Springs International Film Festival awards. Well, it’s time to nestle yourselves back onto Uncle’s lap again. That’s it, get comfortable. Why don’t you fetch yourself a nice big [...]

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