Remember that crappy VH1 movie a few years back where Lennon didn’t get assassinated, thus allowing the Beatles to reform again in the early eighties just in time for the whole leg warmer craze? Well it would seem the idea wasn’t as preposterous as it sounded.

But just what the devil does this all mean? Read on gentle reader, read on…

The Facially Scarred Artist know as Seal has recently been voted Hollywood’s Best New Dad in a recent Parents Magazine. His competition included the likes of Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Kevin Federline, and probably not Darth Vader. 

Vader may have briefly held first place after doing that Jedi hand thing, but it ended up not working because the top editor is part Hutt. C’mon, you know what we’re talking about…

Let’s knock the good quote out of the way from the get go. According to Chad Sexton, drummer for 311 the following occurred. Scott Stapp:

“…came into the Harbor Court Hotel bar while Sexton and bandmates SA Martinez and P-Nut were watching basketball on television. He stepped in front of the screen and said, ‘311, I am ready to fight.’”

If that don’t beat all.

Some religious leaders are made through turmoil-filled life experience and inspiration. Others are formed in Britney Spears’ ovum.

Spears has changed her new son’s room into a gigantic nativity scene, with a life-sized toy donkey, cow, and wax figures. The central role of the baby Jesus is played by none other than young Sean Preston himself. Is this a prolific gesture? Is it prophetic, predictive and prognostic?

We here at the ’spray can’t help but wonder if this clairvoyant ability is also how she knew to make an ominous song about hitting her baby. Child services!! Quickly now!!

Writing is hard.  The writers block, cramps and pension plan alone are enough to drive a grown man to drinkin’.  It’s a difficult trade, that’s true, but once in a while – when the moon’s orbit aligns just perfectly with Jupiter’s stormy eye and an entire mountainside is lush with four leaf clovers – something real easy slides across your desk.

Michael Jackson’s kids aren’t his, or so go the recent allegations of his ex-wife and children’s mother Debbie Rowe.  Oh where to begin…

If American Weekly In Touch has anything to say about it, Britney Spears enjoys the company of psychics before major events in her life. 

According to an unnamed friend, a recent trip through the beaded curtain revealed that she should expect to be knocked up again within the next six months.