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Shawn Lindseth

Lisa Marie Presley Moves To England, England Maybe Sinks A Little

by Shawn Lindseth

America – you had your chance. Had you more respect for the Presley name, had you not referred to her poor father as ‘Fat Elvis’ every three seconds, and perhaps if you hadn’t completely snubbed every single one of her musical attempts, Lisa Marie may have been content to stay within your borders forever. But [...]

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Steven Tyler Is The New Simon Cowell or Ellen Degeneres or Jennifer Lopez

by Shawn Lindseth

Apparently the next time American Idol makes it to air, you’re likely to hear comments like ‘No, man. You gotta put more scarves on your microphone,’ or ‘Jowls? You call those jowls? These are jowls! (As the quiet shaking of his cheeks can be heard over his microphone for several seconds past his sentence-end). That’s [...]

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Wyclef Jean Heads Into Haitian Hiding. He Probably Hates It.

by Shawn Lindseth

The good thing about being president of Haiti is that you get to live in the presidential palace. The bad thing about being president of Haiti is that even before the earthquake, said palace was made mostly of dried mud & honey comb. That’s a bad combination if you’re the sort of person who gets [...]

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Lindsay Lohan To Shank $1,000,000 For First Post Jail Interview

by Shawn Lindseth

We’re pretty sure that the intended worth of a US dollar bill directly dictates the size of paper it’s printed on. A $1 bill is regular size, a $5 is a little bigger and a $100 is twenty times the size of the five. We read this somewhere, we really did. That said, Lindsay Lohan [...]

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Slackerjack – The Birdinator

by Shawn Lindseth

Imagine, if you will,that Arnold Schwarzenegger is a drunken laser-eyed turkey instead of a robotic governor from the future sent back to destroy the Kennedy’s once-good name. Now imagine that as this turkey he zaps passive owls, eats batteries, slurps up mosquitoes and seems a tad preoccupied with flying south for the winter. Weird turkey, [...]

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Russell Brand & Katy Perry Not Doomed, Get Pre-Marriage Counseling

by Shawn Lindseth

A good sign for an impending marriage is that it’s not a California gay one. Those types of marriages never make it, possibly because of the lawyers and what-not. As far as non-California, non-gay marriages go though, Katy Perry & Russell Brand will probably have a great one. After all – they share a barber, [...]

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Awesome or Off-Putting: Scandinavian Ghost Rockets

by Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. Rocket Ghosts, as is common knowledge, are the spirits left behind by long since exploded aerodynamic artillery. The most commonly sighted ghost [...]

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Awesome or Off-Putting: Guy’s House Targeted By Aliens?

by Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. Typical alien harassment includes your bed being surrounded by little green men in the middle of the night, or your car being [...]

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Awesome or Off-Putting: Claude Vorilhon, The Guy Who Had Dinner With Jesus & Moses And Then Effed Some Robots

by Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. If we said it once we said it a million times – the main problem of most modern religion is none of [...]

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Awesome or Off-Putting: The Beast of the Land Between the Lakes

by Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. That’s a pretty long name for a monster, isn’t it? We prefer something like ‘Nessie’ as it’s two short syllables that really [...]

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