This is meant to be some kind of a cynical pop-culture website, right? Most of you are looking at the name in the title and wondering which celebrity has forcibly trapped a lesbian in the back of a transit van before inserting their penis inside them for the pleasure of a pod of watching aquatic mammals, right? Wrong.
It doesn’t matter that Dick Van Dyke might be an 84 year old man who has done little since being in Diagnosis Murder, which finished in 2001 (coincidence? It's safe to assume that it was pulled off the air because Osama Bin Laden was a fan. By entertaining terrorists, we're letting them win, kids)
It doesn’t matter that, if anyone recognises him they are either a student, are unemployable or are one of the few people in the country who have coherent memories of family Christmases. It doesn’t matter because he was in Mary Poppins for god?s sake. Show some respect. Like the porpoises did.