To the despair of Google Image users everywhere, there are several Jordans in the world: The basketball player, the Asian country and the brand of Nike Airs to name just three.
However, potential masturbators will be most familiar with the variable-titted cock-holster better known as Katie Price.
As promised on Twitter, Katie has been keeping a dignified silence about her divorce with Aussie warbler Peter Andre, breaking it only briefly to swear about him. Which is about as dignified as you can get without talking to Piers Morgan on TV and revealing all – thankfully not literally: one slimy twat is more than enough.